So I gave one to everybody (except Ed), and they scribbled them out and gave them back.
I was double-checking them before faxing to our insurance company. As I glanced over Mary's, I noted some of her answers:
Height: 5'1". Weight: 540 lbs.
Pregnant: Yes, due in March, 2010.
Medications: Lithium, Haldol, Valium, Oxycontin, birth control, Methadone, Heroin
Medical conditions: Bipolar, ADHD, closed head injury, brain damage, breast problems, illegal drugs, alcoholism
I turned around just in time to see her completely lose it and start laughing hysterically.
Between the patients and my staff... I don't have a chance.