Ms. Narc: "Yeah, I'm a patient of Dr. Notoncall. He has me on Vicodin, and I'm all out"
Dr. Grumpy: "I'm sorry, I don't call in controlled drugs after hours"
Ms. Narc: "But I'm hurting!"
Dr. Grumpy: "You'll have to call his office on Monday, or go to urgent care or ER if your pain is that bad."
Ms. Narc: "But I can't make it until then! I hurt all over!"
Dr. Grumpy: "I can't call in these pills for you. Sorry"
Ms. Narc: "Ummmm... But I don't need pills! Yesterday I had one of those, uh, gastric bypass surgeries, like the fat guy on TV once did, so I need liquid Vicodin. So it's not a pill. You can call that in, right?"
Dr. Grumpy: "Good night" (hangs up).
13 comments:
She had her surgery yesterday and was already out of pain meds? Whoa.
Good Lord, and Sweet Jesus (it is Sunday, after all).
At least she didn't tell you she had an extensive hair transplant operation yesterday, like, umm, what was on T.V.
But you'd said orginally that you can't call in controlled drugs!
Oh my. People are getting silly (like you're right handed patient from yesterday!)
Love youre blog by the way :D
FAIL!
Bonus points for pimping a different dose form.
Was she drunk?
If she had gastric bypass, girlfriend would be in the hospital screaming at the nurses, not drunk dialing you.
I have to wonder how Hippocrates would've handled our epidemic of drug seeking behavior and "ailments" like Fibromyfakegia.
Auffer- He probably would have abandoned medicine and gone to cosmetology school.
You know, Hippocrates WAS a beauty school dropout.
Cue cheesy music...
;)
ER's Mom: Ah yes, the song in Grease: "Beauty school drop-out, go back to med school" or something like that.
Everyone knows liquids can't be controlled, I mean, how would you sell that on the street?.. I mean.. crap! *hangs up*
-Flavius
LOL, give her credit for thinking fast. She does get an A for creativity and entertainment value.
Can you sell me heroin? I mean, that's not a pill or really a liquid, so you can call that in, right?
Gotta love the midnight referral to ER for chronic-pain Vicodin refill. *Furrows brow*
I know, K, but legally I have to give them an option. I knew this one wouldn't go. And she didn't.
Post a Comment