So she spent this morning sorting through all the medical cards parents have turned in.
Under allergies, some listed for kids at her school include:
"sugar, fake sugar, and artificial sugar sweets"
"rubber bands or glue and/or whatever stuff like that"
"no Aspirin, but Aspirin is okay"
"that drug that killed Michael Jackson" (hell, this district doesn't even supply Tylenol)
"that bad kind of paper I read about"
On the line marked "Other medical concerns you'd like us made aware of":
"Don't let him eat Legos again this year, PLEASE!"
"Can I get a copy of the district's swine floo plan?"
"I don't like her getting junk food. Can you make sure she doesn't bring any for lunch" (who's packing her lunches? Not the nurse, you bozo)
"He doesn't like beer or coffee" (on a 2nd grader)
"Please don't make him swallow goldfish. I saw that on TV once."
If he faints in PE, no blood transfusions"