Thursday, August 13, 2009

Dear Dr. Dipshit

You sent a fax over to my office this morning that only said "PLEASE CALL ME ASAP TO DISCUSS MUTUAL PATIENT IMA DINGDONG!!! I'M AT 867-5309!!!".

I can only assume you did this because you are incapable of actually dialing a phone by yourself. Obviously, if someone at your end could look up my fax number, they could have found my phone number, too.

Mary brought it back to me about 3 minutes after it printed, and interrupted me while I was with a patient because it looked urgent.

I don't mind being interrupted, because a patient emergency should always take priority. So I called 867-5309.

The call was immediately transferred to your answering service, who told me your office was closed and offered to page another doctor on call, who likely had no idea why you were trying to reach me urgently. I begged the operator to see if your office had a backline she could connect me to, and she kindly did.

The lady who answered your backline obviously didn't give a shit. I told her I was Dr. Grumpy, and I was returning YOUR fax about Mrs. Dingdong. She told me the office was closed, and I should leave a message with the answering service. When I repeated that YOU HAD FAXED ME, she said you were having coffee with a drug rep, and didn't want to interrupt you (I guess it's better for a doctor to be interrupted when with a patient, huh?).

I told her that the fax said it was an emergency, so she sighed heavily (I know she rolled her eyes, even without a video link), whined, and said, "okay, let me go see if he's done".

I was then placed on hold for 2 minutes and 38 seconds (while I'm with a patient at my end) before another of your staff came on, said you were still with the drug rep, and asked me which patient it was on, what their date-of-birth was, and why was I calling in the first place? Could it wait until your office opened?

Sorry I hung up at that point, but I didn't want to scream and swear at some poor staff member that you'd stuck between us. Obviously, you and I have a different definition of "emergency".

And you can call me back if you need me. Or better yet, just have the patient call me, since apparently no one at your end believes in patient care.

(Friday morning update: Nope. I never heard back from him.)


Tachyon said...

Dr. Dipshit was busy with his second practice on the opposite end of the country. He prescribes my medicine, I swear!

Your ability to attract stupidity is second only to my ability to attract psychosis.

I don't think you can possibly be truly grumpy. Your life is far too amusing!

Peg said...

WOW...that is ridiculous!
I am an older pre-med student who is faceing many obstacles to get into medical school and to think someobody like that(Dr Dipshit) made it in and through medical school is unbelievable. Makes me sad and angry...especially if it turns out that I am not accepted. Why is having coffee with a drug rep more important than dealing with a patient sistuation that he(dipshit) initiated? Unbelievable.

Unknown said...

Watch your blood pressure Dr. Grumpy!

Mine went up reading that.

Fiz said...

Have had the day from hell at this end (student finances in the UK are a joke, only it isn't funny)and I do sympathise.

Anonymous said...

Wow, I didn't think doctors ate their own, but guess it happens anywhere.

Grumpy, M.D. said...

As a general rule I try to play nice with all other docs, nurses, pharmacists, etc. I mean, we are all on the same team, with the same goal of patient care (allegedly).

So it ticks me off when I try to respond like this, and get blown off.

Kathy B! said...

Glad to see that people are rude across the board. I was beginning to think I had cornered the market on interactions with self-centered folk, but I see there are some out there I haven't managed to unwittingly lure into my life. said...

When I started reading your blog I thought you were making a joke about your talent for attracting weirdos.

My apologies for doubting you!

Did the doctor ever get back to you?

Grumpy, M.D. said...

No. As of this evening he hasn't called me back.

Deodand said...

You should fax him back a really smartass answer.

PharmaJoe said...

Ugh, its health care staff like that that kill me. It makes Pharmacists, like me, MDs, nurses, and everyone elses day that much worse. Its the patient's care so when they are self-centered it annoys me but at least I can understand, but when health care workers do it that just kills me.

Ron said...

faxes... the modern day carrier pigeon with all the mess.

Would've like to see how he communicates in a real emergency... tie a note to a yam and through your window?

Grumpy, M.D. said...

CK Lunchbox- Uses a carrier pigeon. It's covered on the patient's plan.

Anonymous said...

Was the patient's first name Jenny? :)

Pharmer Jane said...

That kind of BS happens to me as well. If someone initiates an "urgent" or ASAP fax/call to me, I expect them to be available when I call them back. If they're not, then clearly it wasn't an urgent matter to them.

Anonymous said...

Thanks, now I've got that song in my head.... 8-6-7-5-3-0-9

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