"I drove over to Local Grocery, because my wife had been nagging me all damn day that we needed bread and celery.
"Anyway, Doc, when I got there and tried to get out of my car I found I couldn't move my left arm or leg at all. They were completely paralyzed. So by turning I was able to use my right arm to pull a shopping cart over, and then I used that to support me to get into the store.
"At first I thought I should get help or something, but when I got inside I saw they had those motorized electric shopping cart scooter deals, so I got into one and was able to work it okay with my right hand, though I knocked over a display or two. And all these damn store employees kept asking me if I was okay, like it's any of their damn business.
"Anyway, so I got the bread and celery, and got out to my car, and drove here to the ER. That was a bitch, because my cars a manual, so I had to work the clutch and brake both with my right foot, and that ain't as easy as you probably think it is.
"Then, after I got here, I called my wife and had to wait outside in your parking lot for her to come pick up her damn bread and celery. Then I came inside to the ER."