Friday, August 7, 2009

It's a Guy Thing

I was at the hospital early this morning to see a 70-something gentleman who had a stroke yesterday. He told me this great story, which I'm repeating (to the best of my memory) verbatim. Because I can't write them better than this:


"I drove over to Local Grocery, because my wife had been nagging me all damn day that we needed bread and celery.

"Anyway, Doc, when I got there and tried to get out of my car I found I couldn't move my left arm or leg at all. They were completely paralyzed. So by turning I was able to use my right arm to pull a shopping cart over, and then I used that to support me to get into the store.

"At first I thought I should get help or something, but when I got inside I saw they had those motorized electric shopping cart scooter deals, so I got into one and was able to work it okay with my right hand, though I knocked over a display or two. And all these damn store employees kept asking me if I was okay, like it's any of their damn business.

"Anyway, so I got the bread and celery, and got out to my car, and drove here to the ER. That was a bitch, because my cars a manual, so I had to work the clutch and brake both with my right foot, and that ain't as easy as you probably think it is.

"Then, after I got here, I called my wife and had to wait outside in your parking lot for her to come pick up her damn bread and celery. Then I came inside to the ER."

19 comments:

ER's Mom said...

At least it wasn't for tomatoes...

SumDood said...

OMG, I love it!

Anonymous said...

I have this mental picture of Igor dragging his leg dramatically while pushing a shopping cart, breathing "Yes, Master."

You know...it IS a guy thing.

>:)

D

Anonymous said...

Because you know that if he had driven straight to the ER instead of going into the store, his wife would have complained that he got several thousand dollars of tPA but didn't get the bread and celery!

peedee said...

That is famous!!! I <3 him! He needs to train my man. ;)

Funnyrunner said...

for crying out loud. driver's licenses should be taken away when one turns 70. except when I turn 70.

Anonymous said...

I waited 3 hours after having high voltage flow through my body while trying to fix a laser before I went to the ER because I wanted to get more data points. I only left the lab after the pain in my arm got really bad. some were around a 7-8.... I knew I should have listened to my wife and gone to the ER right away. But I am a dumn guy.

-Doctor BoB Ph.D.

Chris@Maugeritaville said...

We'll just blame it on the stroke, okay?

Flavius said...

That guy is a living model of the man's man, take care of your mission before taking care of yourself.

Not only that, but working a standard with one arm and one foot just adds bonus points to the whole thing.

-Flavius

Frantic Pharmacist said...

I love those old guys. They are a totally different breed!

Anonymous said...

I think we can guess who wears the pants in that realationship...lol

yay said...

Y'know neurology was never at the top of my list of careers, but the number of these stories you churn out is quite inspiring...

But I might have to come and work in your practice to experience the scope of your special patients!

thegooddrlaura said...

Time is Brain. Too bad this guy didn't have that much to start with.

Spook, RN said...

"Art imitates life and truth is often stranger than fiction".

Aye.

Bella said...

That's dedication.

Tachyon said...

A while back, I was riding up front in an ambulance that was transporting a family friend who'd just had a stroke. Dude driving the thing (sorry, I don't know what his title was) spent most of the 40 minute drive telling me about how he'd worked two shifts (two different towns) while having a stroke. I think he wound up going to the ER about 24 hours after onset of symptoms.

Mind-boggling.

Anonymous said...

left body stroke. At least this guy knew, at some level, that something was wrong. I've seen 'em yell at their family that they're fine and don't need to be in the damn ER.

I'm sure the ones on the right side have interesting tales to tell, also. sad they can't.

Rio said...

On behalf of all wives, sometimes we NEED the bread and celery, ok? (Just kidding...poor guy! Hope he's okay!)

Anonymous said...

Ha ha guys are funny that way- my husband lost a fistfight with a television set (dont ask) and the next day, his hand was swollen to the size of a softball, and told me "its okay, ill just put a wrap on it." I nagged him to the ER and turned out he shattered 2 knuckles, severed a tendon, and had to have a plate put in. Yeah... just wrap it.... it will be fine.

 
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