Mr. Vague: "He works over on the south side. It was a Dr. Hansen, or Martin. Maybe it was Stevens or Smith. It could have started with an 'S', but I'm not sure. You know who I'm talking about, right?"
Friday, January 16, 2015
Sigh
Mr. Vague: "He works over on the south side. It was a Dr. Hansen, or Martin. Maybe it was Stevens or Smith. It could have started with an 'S', but I'm not sure. You know who I'm talking about, right?"
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6 comments:
And it was a long time ago. Like maybe last month. And they gave me a CAT scan at some place. You know, the exam where they rub jelly on your stomach. Or maybe I drank something. No, it was that exam with magnets that makes all the noise.
C'mon Senator try to remember a little better.
I had a patient give the cross streets once. We used google earth and he pointed out the building which led to the doctor.
Was it Hansen, Martin, or any generic ortho in box?
Did you take a number, no waiting, or plan for a week?
Were you offered Versed, propofol, or a fifth on rocks?
Was the surgeon a he, or a she –not at all weak,
Perhaps, even maybe as strong as an ox?
Did the name start with 'S', like Stevens or Smith?
And, did he or she use lasers, bone saw or sharp knife?
Caprolactone, polyester, nylon or catgut, was it staples, or stitch?
Is there hardware, screws and pins for the rest of your life,
So in airport security, with sirens blaring, a fit do you pitch?
Or, was it none of the four, Hansen, Martin, Stevens, or Smithe, with an 'e',
Though they bill separately using Robodoc, Caspar, or Rio?
Were you up, out of bed in day one, or day three,
With a DVT prophy, opioid, NSAID trio,
Come now, surely you know, medical schools require a course in ES Type-P.
This is no surprise.
Before we had electronic records and had to wait an inordinate amount of time for the paper chart to show up, I'd often have patients who could not tell me the name of the doctor they had seen 2 days before or even if it was a man or a woman.
Most medical offices have business cards out front. I always pick one up so I can share the office phone number and address with my doc, if needed. It makes you wonder why other patients haven't thought of that one.
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