Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Doctor's lounge, Sunday morning, 6:18 a.m.

Cardiologist: "The coffee machine is broken."

Neurosurgeon: "Ah shit. I really needed some, too."

Neurologist: "I don't think they come in on weekends to fix it, either."

Pulmonologist: "They don't. We're fucked."

Cardiologist: "Maybe we can do something..." (Opens front of machine).

Neurologist: "Wow, what a mess."

Neurosurgeon: "I think this thing that fell over holds the used grounds."

Neurologist: "Yeah." (dumps grounds in trash, rinses holder in sink, puts it back in machine).

Nothing happens.

Pulmonologist: "It's still not working."

Neurosurgeon: "Let me see... Here, look. The part that feeds the filter paper roll got doubled up and twisted. It's stuck."

Neurologist: "Hang on..." (pulls out filter paper roll) "Ah, okay, looks like it wasn't put in correctly. Let me turn it around and toss the jammed paper."

Machine starts gurgling.

Pulmonologist: "It's working! Yay! Coffee!"

(All get coffee)

Cardiologist: "That's amazing."

Neurosurgeon: "The coffee gadget?"

Cardiologist: "No. For the first time in medical history it was a neurosurgeon who made the correct diagnosis, and a neurologist who fixed it."

The pulmonologist blew her coffee all over the bagels.


Anonymous said...


Rich said...

That joke kills.

Anonymous said...

This just made my week.

ThorMD said...

I'm glad I didn't have a mouthful of coffee when I read that :-)

Megan said...


Megan said...


bobbie said...

I'm with ThorMD!!!

Packer said...

Our civilization is not doomed.

Moose said...

And that's why doctors need to stay the fuck outta my computers.

One of the places where I lived out my computer career had a big (BIG) printer designed for heavy-duty printing almost 24x7. It was a fussy bastard that had to be kept in a humidity-controlled room or it would get paper jams near constantly. Despite that, it still jammed from time to time, and people used to dealing with little desktop injket machines would "try" to fix it, usually making things worse.

The hardware department cured that by putting up a sign that said, "If you can fix this as well as we can, call us. We're hiring."

clairesmum said...

I really thought that they would go and ask a nurse to fix it for them..isn't that how it usually works??!!

Gracie's Mom said...

Man; your cardiologists are harsh, and yet I giggled like a little schoolgirl when I read this.

Loren Pechtel said...

Moose, it sounds like they did the right thing with the sign. Most paper jams are things that the average reasonably competent computer user can deal with. It's usually much faster to just deal with the jam than get the IT guy to come fix it. If you've got something that the average guy can't clear a paper jam a warning is a good idea.

a.generic doc said...

And was the neurologist involved, the famous Dr. Grumpy?

Geranium Incognito said...

This is one of the funniest things I've ever read, although I guess you'd have to be medical to appreciate it.

rapnzl rn said...

Every once in awhile, the Yak Herder trumps all. And makes us ROFL in the process. Thanks!

Shellye said...


Lisa G said...

Bwahhahahaha!!!! Go Neurologists! First thing that's made me smile all week :)

Anonymous said...

My dad was an OBGYN and he could fix things, but only because *his* dad was a tradesman.

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