Dr. Grumpy: "Maybe because it's summer."
Mary: "The phone is barely ringing this afternoon."
Dr. Grumpy: "You should start calling people."
Mary: "Who should I call?"
Dr. Grumpy: "I don't know. Just get out an old phone directory, and start randomly calling people. Tell them they have an appointment tomorrow."
Mary: "Yeah, right. Who's going to believe that?"
Dr. Grumpy: "When they say you have a wrong number, tell them they were referred for memory loss."
14 comments:
Grumpy:
I do think it's seasonal. Lots of people hide out (in their homes, businesses and on the beach, if they get vacation) in the summer.
Same low numbers here...for a moment, anyway.
http://instantrimshot.com/index.php?sound=rimshot&play=true
That Dr. Grumpy and Mary have too much time on their hands???
Really?
I went to visit my primary caregiver (my sawbones) last week. After the usual 'how are you', conversation lagged.
Bones finally says, "Well, what can we do for you?"
A large question mark appears over
my head. Bones tries again.
"What did you come in for?"
"You told me you wanted to see me. You've always been pretty good and all, so here I am."
Sad thing is, the random calls work. That's why telemarketers annoy so many. If you make 20,000 calls and .5 per cent of the calls result in new pts., Grumpy will be busy indeed.
And he will be grumpy, indeed.
This is my favorite blog entry by you to date, Doc. I've gone and shared it with my sister and with my best friend, both of whom would have without exaggeration joined me in doing that very thing you suggest, back in the day - and I'm not so sure we wouldn't still, to a select few people we know, at least.
Um, is this really a mystery? Nobody wants to come in in July because, if it's elective, or at least delay-able:
- Many people are on or about to go on vacation. Why wreck vacation for the whole family with a doc appointment or bad news?
- Many people now have HSAs with high-deductible policies, and haven't hit their deductible yet. With the vacation credit-card bill looking, it's a good time to not spend money on doc bills.
Rest assured, you'll be slammed between Thanksgiving and Xmas. This dynamic is why I don't think HSAs save the health care system any money at all, and why I think adding those newly-covered under Obamacare will not be as inflationary as expected: HSAs use capacity poorly, leaving excess summer capacity that will be absorbed by Obamacare.
Thanks for the laugh!
I find this to be very funny. My boss travels in the summer so I stack a bunch of appointments while he is gone. This means he is less irritated at me having appointments while he is in town.
Dr. Grumpy -- you totally need to call me. I need to see a neurologist for a condition recently diagnosed (tentatively) by a cardiologist, and I can't for the life of me get scheduled anywhere in the Boston area. At this point, I would be willing to fly out to your neck of the woods to get the dx confirmed and started on the appropriate treatment....... I'm dying over here!
I need a new neurologist, mine is horrible. Guess I understand now all those comments on the blog about avoiding the others in his profession...
I had my yearly cardio tests scheduled today, and I overheard someone being called back for their appointment. The nurse was saying how they were ready early because tons of people had canceled and it was pretty empty. We are having a heat wave though, temps in the mid 90s.
The entire 48 contiguous states are on freaking lock down, it is 100 + real feel degrees everywhere, or hadn't you noticed the drawn blinds, the whining and groaning A/C units, the gray air so thick it has a taste. No one is leaving home to go to the Dr. unless it is for heat stroke. I walk the dog at 6 AM for 2 miles, he now only wants to go half that, and I could go weeks without seeing a soul at that hour, now today I am joined by 50 sports bra wearing and bare chested joggers, because later it will be too hot to go out. They drip as they go by, leaving behind an astringent odor of glistening humanity, thus disturbing my reverie. My BVDs maintain a certain swampy dankness from dawn to eternity. If one more person says Hot enough for you ? Or , hey it is summer. Oh, sorry, the heat it is getting to me :)
Patients certainly aren't avoiding the ER -- temps hit 90 with humidity and suddenly any problem that's been bothering them for 6 months is suddenly an emergency.
I'm going to start posting a sign outside reminding people that the mall has air conditioning, too. $2 for a drink is a tad bit cheaper than the ER bill...but what do I know, I'm just a silly ER doc.
So i got this call.. .the other day......
hahaha just kidding!
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