Tuesday, July 16, 2013

IT'S A MIRACLE! HALLELUJAH!

Dr. Grumpy: "What can I do for you, sir?"

Mr. Wheelchair: "My legs are completely paralyzed! I can't walk!"

Dr. Grumpy: "How long has this been going on?"

Mr. Wheelchair: "2 months, and no one can find a cause for it."

Dr. Grumpy: "Do you..."

(patient's cell phone rings, and he looks at it)

Mr. Wheelchair: "Hang on, doc, I have to take this. Let me step out."

(Gets out of wheelchair, walks out to lobby, mumbles into phone for a minute, hangs up, comes back and sits in wheelchair)

Mr. Wheelchair: "Anyway, they tell me there's nothing wrong with me, and that my tests are normal. It's very frustrating, because I can't move my legs at all, and..."

41 comments:

Mal said...

Can't move your legs at all?

There's an app for that.

FireCap5 said...

One word. WOW.

Scam artist? Not a very good one obviously......

Anonymous said...

Is this the same patient with memory deficits? Perhaps he forgot his legs are paralyzed. This actually happened????

Anonymous said...

The poor guy probably only has paralysis on even numbered days or something, and yesterday was the 15th, ergo no paralysis. But no, you want to write a sensational blog post, so you conveniently choose to omit this one crucial fact. Shame on you.

Mama D said...

Uh, what??? Supratentorial problem?

Anonymous said...

WTF!?

What did you say to hime?

Silja said...

Insurance scam?

Cape Cod Step-Mom said...

Psych Consult STAT.

Or is this a Work Comp case?

Moose said...

Please point me at this "person" so I can beat him with my cane.

For an hour or two.

Packer said...

Oh, no, another case of Messianic Complex, miracle cures and all that.

I have to stop reading this blog for awhile, I am getting the idea that the whole world is whacked.

Anonymous said...

I had a patient once that was "paralyzed" due to vaccines she received prior to going to Desert Storm. She is now a pole dancer. I guess the first gig didn't work out as well as she was hoping (ie. disability was denied).

Anonymous said...

A patient walked into the ER once with her mother and claimed she had suddenly gone blind while at home. My father, which was the doctor, asked her "Ok, just look right into this light. Let me check your eye..." she did, she looked right into the light...

Crazy RxMan said...

If I posted a story like this on my blog, I'd get comments telling ME not to jump to conclusions or make assumptions.

Ami said...

I'll join in the clamorous throng wanting to know... what did you say? What happened next? IS this a work comp case?

bobbie said...

Another from the clamorous throng...

You can't leave us hanging!!!

Anonymous said...

Methinks someone is trying to milk disability or worker's compensation!

Or maybe your mere presence lends itself to unexplainable miracles? If the day job as a doctor doesn't work out, then maybe you could explore the possibility of super evangelist, healer of all ills! Ah, but if only you could find a cause for memory loss due to Alzheimer's...

lbparker said...

Split personality? One can walk, the other can't? And the one who can't is completely unaware of the other one? Ok, I know that's really a stretch. . . Psych consult, anyway.

lbparker said...

On second thought, a revival of Candid Camera?

Mad Jack said...

Yeah, Grump. What happened?

Loren Pechtel said...

Is there some database you can report such scammers to in case they neglect to mention seeing the doctors that don't believe them?

Bettyyy said...

Just being in your presence healed him! Well, I'll be!
It's a miracle!
Hallelujah!!

Anonymous said...

Does Ernest Angely know about this?


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NuQ4SJWECBY

Steph said...

Can I make an appointment, Doc?
I'm in dire need of some miracle work. I'd love to hope out of my wheelchair for some prearranged phonecall.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like the opening scene of the movie "Trading Places," where Eddie Murphy is telling the police, "I ain't got no legs." Then after they pull him up to a standing position he exclaims, "It's a miracle, I have legs." Similar theme.

Heidi said...

I liked the split personality theory. But I think we are really missing the point - what cell company does he use? Clearly that signal has special powers...or is he using an Iwalkphone? The marketing possibilities are mind-boggling.

Anonymous said...

CrazyRXman - it's because if you posted this story on your blog, you'd make several slights about the patient's appearance, and how they have, undoubtedly, a long history of abusing the government, and how people like this are all Obama's fault.

Less is more. And less political opinions is more audience who can appreciate you.

Patti Cadwallader said...

Really? I'd love to be a fly on the wall in your office for just one day!

RehabRN said...

Grumpy:

Had a guy do this at work. Only he forgot and was sent (with his wife who aided and abetted) to jail.

Don't feel sorry for them AT ALL!

Anonymous said...

That's exactly right!! Who would expect political leanings or opinions from medical blogs!!??

Veronica Reilly said...

I need to come see you, Dr. Grumpy, ASAP!!!! I've had Trigeminal Neuralgia for 20 years now and no cure or help for it. I KNOW you'd cure me!!! I'm on my way! LOL! Interesting.

So, Paul Harvey, where IS the rest of this story???

Anonymous said...

Well there's clearly *something* wrong with him.

BR said...

I'm fairly new to this blog - does Dr Grumpy ever 'fess up when a post is inspired by one of his own patients? Or will I always be doomed to never know the "rest of the story"? :-)

Anonymous said...

We had a patient who kept coming into the ED over a period of about 3 days saying that he couldn't walk or move his legs and he had pain. He had a normal lumbar CT scam the first ED visit and his neuro exams were always equivocal -the numbness kept moving, the reflexes kept changing, etc. He would be seen crossing his legs while in bed and, of course, everyone thought he was malingering. The thing was, this was a really nice guy who seemed genuinely distressed. Psych couldn't find anything acutely wrong either. Finally, the fourth time he came in, the doc decided to do another CT scan - lumbar and thoracic. He had a bleed (apparently, a slow epidural bleed) at, I believe T10 or a little higher. Poor guy was rushed to surgery, but ended up paraplegic anyway. It was definitely one of my weirdest cases. TCG

Packer said...

Grumpy can not reveal anymore than the generic, and certainly can not relate any information as to what he told him regarding medical treatments. There is a fine line when dealing with privileged communications. Priest/ Penitent, Lawyer/ Guilty Guy, I mean client, Doctor / Patient a fascinating area of legal study. Take an abusing priest who confesses to Bishop..... and you see where I am going with this. Bishop is forbidden from revealing and the rest is a nightmare.

Anonymous said...

Interestingly enough, people with damage to their visual lobe sometimes experience a phenomenon (sometimes called blindsight) where they are blind, but are able to react to stuff similarly to people with vision. Experiments with such people are fascinating, because such people will insist that they are blind, but will have unerring accuracy when told, "There is a cup in front of you. Pick it up." They tend to get angry when you tell them they have the ability to see (though they are pretty severely impaired), since they are not consciously aware of the stuff they see.

arzt4empfaenger said...

Selective/psychologically caused neglect? Like a psychosomatic neglect?

Anonymous said...

Packer: would love to know the "legal" basis for a bishop not reporting child sex abuse. I do not believe such a prohibition exists. Nor should it.

Packer said...

@Anon 6:56, Simply google Priest Penitent Privilege . I don't like to hi jack Grumpy's blog, but it do exist, You can come over to my blog and I can answer better.

Anonymous said...

Was this Andy from 'Little Britain'?

Vincent Meyer, MD said...

I think possible conversion disorder. Had a patient who had flapping arm movements, couldn't control them. Was in the hospital two weeks. We consulted psych - they said "No, it's not a conversion disorder.. they're really RARE!". She was transferred to the regional tertiary care center. Their "movement disorders" clinic after repeating the complete workup said "Conversion disorder"

Anonymous said...

Guess that would be called a functional paraplegia. We got those were I work (in a rehab center for para- and tetraplegics)and they're really annoying. Cool thing is, about a third of the patients recover spontaneously after a while.

 
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