Ms. Haldol: "As black as your greedy, money-grubbing soul you bastard!"
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Hospital rounds
Ms. Haldol: "As black as your greedy, money-grubbing soul you bastard!"
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Dr. Grumpy: "What color is my shirt?"
Ms. Haldol: "As black as your greedy, money-grubbing soul you bastard!"
A Blog detailing the insanity of my medical practice and the stupidity of everyday life.
Ms. Haldol: "As black as your greedy, money-grubbing soul you bastard!"
Welcome to my whining!
This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients, or my everyday life, or anything else may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate. I could be making all this up. I may not even be a doctor. The only true statement on here is that I probably drink more Diet Coke than you do. A lot more.
Singing Foo!
Singing Foo!
Twitter fans- you can follow me @docgrumpy
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
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25 comments:
Damn doctors and their attempts to earn a living! How dare you!
You have a soul? Was it on sale on E-Bay? Or did you pick it up at a yard sale - slightly used but still functioning.
stay safe.
According to GQ, your shirt is supposed to complement your soul, not match it. If I were you, I might go with a pastel, although that obviously depends on whether your soul is more of a glossy or matte black.
That is about as good as when I'd see patients who had a cold and they would describe their nasal drainage or sputum as 'the same color as the green shirt you are wearing'....The pretty sage green shirt went straight to Goodwill... UGH, the nerve of patients!
Ok, so deny that your shirt was black.
Does she:
A. Do complimentary aural readings
B. Star in her own reality show
C. Use Bath Salts for off label purposes.
Daughter who is hospital RN, says they are frequently reminded "Stay on Guard for their own safety"
He's one of your longest, nearest and dearest patients, amirite?
Luv ya some doctor patient relationship.
Maybe she mistook you for a lawyer. :-)
Okay, if you're dissatisfied we'll head back to the OR and I'll return you to your previous state - or a reasonable facsimile thereof.
Deal?
I think it's pretty funny - these people you interact with on a daily basis crack me up. Sometimes we have no choice but to laugh it off.
why did she say something like that?
HA! Black does go with everything, you must look very chic. Thank goodness you don't have one of those grey green souls the colour of refridgerator mold. So Much Worse!
I have to be honest...
that made me giggle.
Well, was your shirt black or not?
How do you manage to keep your shirt THAT black?
Mine usually get a bit faded after a couple of washings.
Did she call you "Satan" too?
My wife never calls me that at work.
Lemme guess: The patient thought the copay was a bit steep...
If this gal is compliant in adherency to her therapy, my guess is that it's time to get out the dipstick. It sounds as if her tank level is getting a little low, no matter how correct she is in telling her colors.
so you have a black lab coat?
Man! Psychotics have ALL the fun!
This lady certainly has a blindness problem, but its nothing to do with color.
As a med student I saw a patient with encephalopathy, and the first time I met her she told me I had a "devil face". The next morning she told me my face was beautiful. My presentation to my attending that morning was that she was much improved, since she finally correctly described me!
I'm guessing that was a consult in a psych unit!
Once when trying to determine a patient's level of orientation I asked "Do you know where you are right now?" and she said, completely stone faced and unfazed, "The crematorium". I was horrified.
Fronto-temporal lobe dementia?
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