Friday, June 8, 2012
Patient quote of the day
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"I was on extreme doses of extremely powerful pain medications, because my symptoms were, you know, extreme. My doctor was extremely worried that I'd get extreme side effects, but apparently I have extremely high tolerance. They told me my liver is extremely strong."
A Blog detailing the insanity of my medical practice and the stupidity of everyday life.
Welcome to my whining!
This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients, or my everyday life, or anything else may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate. I could be making all this up. I may not even be a doctor. The only true statement on here is that I probably drink more Diet Coke than you do. A lot more.
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Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
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June
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23 comments:
Bloody extremists...
How extreme and unhelpful for you!
Sooo, was the problem with the patient's extremities?
Throw in artisan somewhere, and it gets even better.
My mental picture has this patient chugging Mountain Dew, wearing neon spandex and about to jump a canyon on a motorcycle.
EXTREME!!!!!!!!1
It's lucky that he has an extremely grumpy doctor!
"I do 3 sets of 12 liver curls, 3 times per week at the gym."
Get this man a thesauraus!
And the next patient to come in said,
"I was feeling a little bad for a little while and my other doctor gave me a little dose of a little pill because I'm a little person and had a history of a little problem with my liver."
And Mary was happy that they weren't both in the waiting room at once because you never know what will happen when extreme opposites get together.
And when you ask for a refill of your Percocet, I will respond with an extremely emphatic "NO"
It's extrmelly great to have patients with an extremely large & extensive vocabulary of extremely diverse and plentiful adjectives! Your patients are going to give you an ulcer b/f you turn 45 & that is an extremely bad thing!
Class use the words 7 times in a sentence and it is yours for life.
Sister Repeticia
Hee. There's a character in a manga (a Japanese comic book) who does everything 'to the extreme' so maybe this guy was a fan?
A consequence of doing extreme sports, no doubt.
Extremely self-serving explanation from someone who wants an extreme increase in extremely strong narcotic dosing.
extremely extreme.
Hmmmmmm ... is this drug-seeking behavior?
Could be .. extreme
His communication was much worse before he got effective counseling to avoid using the word f**k.
At least he was extremely consistent.
Linell
And then a third patient came in (bet you can see where this is going). " I was on just the right dose of a just powerful enough pain medications, because my symptoms were, you know just right. My doctor was worried when i got just the right side affect,apparently I have just the right amount of tolerance. Then they told me my liver was just the right amount of strong.
I'm extremely skeptical of his story...
"You keep usin' tha' word. I do no' think it means whachoo think it means."
That's, like, totally bogus.
If I hear the word 'extreme' again today I'll exscreem...or worse.
Dr. G and the Extreems?
(OK, a bit weak, I know)
Just to avoid any misunder standings, Diana Ross is my fave lady singer.....that silky voice still makes my hair stand on end......and I'm now almost completely bald!
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