So I talked to Mary. She'd forgotten I'd fired the lady, and said she hadn't spoken to the patient. Dr. McCheese's office had scheduled the appointment.
Dr. McCheese doesn't normally refer to me, so I really didn't care about making him angry. I called his office and reached the lady who'd made the referral.
Dr. Grumpy: "I'm not going to accept this case. She can't come back here."
Office Lady: "Well that's just freakin' GREAT! I mean, we don't refer to you anyway, and you were our last hope. We already tried all 5 good neurologists in town, but none of them wanted to touch her either. So we thought we'd send her to you."
You have no idea how special I felt. There are about 80 neurologists in my town, not including the one who died on Monday, and I didn't know that only 5 of them were competent.
Dr. Grumpy: "Sorry. I'm not taking her."
Office Lady: "So now what am I supposed to do?"
I thought about telling her to go stuff herself, but an even better idea came to mind.
Dr. Grumpy: "Why don't you refer her to Dr. Justdiedmonday?"
Office Lady: "I hadn't thought of that. He isn't on our list either. Do you think he'd see her?"
Dr. Grumpy. "It can't hurt to ask. I heard he has some schedule openings this week."
Office Lady: "Thank you! I appreciate your help. I'll call his office right now."
Dr. Grumpy: "Have a good night."