Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Your tax dollars at work

I, Dr. Grumpy, am not a cannibal. I have never been a cannibal, nor do I have any interest in being a cannibal.

In Oklahoma, however, an elected representative of the people (state Senator Ralph Shortey) has decided that eating human fetuses is a SERIOUS problem in America. If not now, it still could become one by, say, 2022.

So we need to act now to keep this from happening. Because, with all the other issues facing our society, people eating fetuses is apparently one of the bigger ones. At least to Mr. Shortey.

So he has, I SWEAR, introduced a bill to ban the practice of using human fetuses in food products.

Comically, he even admits that he's unaware of anyone actually doing this, but decided the law is needed because he researched the subject on the internet.

And we all know how accurate that is.

Thank you, Ed!

36 comments:

Mike Looney said...

Some days it's hard to be from Oklahoma.

Anonymous said...

But we'll still be able to use them as fertilizer, right?

Anonymous said...

But what if you're playing catch with one and it accidentally hits you in the mouth and you accidentally swallow it?

Anonymous said...

Does a martini count as a "food product?"

Megan said...

Maybe Senator Shortey is really short, and afraid someone will mistake him for one?

Anonymous said...

Dammit, I KNEW that putting up that "I can haz human feetus?" lolcats site was a bad idea.

gena said...

Sorry, Oklahomans. Your tax dollars at work. (Or not, as the case may be.)

Anonymous said...

I could not stop laughing at (with?) Anonymous 11:52. I have tears running down my cheeks!

How can someone who is so obviously a dumbwad be elected to the State Senate?

Don said...

Most of my co-workers surf the net when they have a medical concern, rather than going to the doctor, and these are intelligent men and women working in engineering.
I trust that the doctor knows more, although I get a little nervous when I see WebMD magazine in his waiting room.

thethingspatientssay said...

I've grown so accustomed to the taste it would be a shame to lose it now. Isn't this how "New Coke" came about?

JoAnna said...

Actually, it's very real:

http://healthfreedoms.org/2011/06/01/aborted-fetal-tissue-used-to-test-new-food-additives/

Anonymous said...

Will fetuses that were already conceived when the law goes into effect be grandfathered in? I need to know so I can plan accordingly.

Tim from Tulsa said...

Great. So now, every time I want to eat food containing human fetuses, I'm going to have to drive all the way up to freaking Wichita?

ERP said...

JoAnna, are you a complete loon?

Anonymous said...

There was some big deal a while back about a Pepsi using aborted fetal cell lines in testing. But no one is actually eating aborted fetal cells. Also, my understanding is that it's one cell line from one fetus way back when, and the same cell line has simply been cloned since. *shrug*

Bob@thenest said...

So, the cost in Texas is going to drastically drop due to oversupply, correct? I'll have to see if that's a traded commodity -- may be a great deal coming up!

Moose said...

Well, as someone who was raised in the Jewish faith, I have it on good authority from Christians who grew up in the middle of frikkin nowhere that I know well the yummy, yummy taste of Christian babies.

I do love small children, but I cannot eat a whole one at one sitting.

Anonymous said...

Perhaps JoAnna is the one who introduce the bill. Apparently cell line and an aborted fetus are the same thing.

I wish it was people like JoAnna's tax dollars that were sponsoring this bill, and not ours.

Wendy said...

Doesn't bother me if they test food additives with a cell line.

If it bothers you, then don't eat that food, and leave me out of it. You worry about your own food supply, and I'll worry about mine.

Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness you have me laughing so hard I scared my dog. That's the craziest shit I ever heard. He READ it on-line and now wants to pass a law. Damn I think I wet myself laughing

clairesmum said...

ed is your office fish, right? now he is getting his facts from the internet too?
and yes, this is our tax dollars at work....but we do have term limits...folks in Oklahoma - vote him OUT, please!

Liz said...

Yes, HealthFreedoms looks like an unbiased website. Huh.

JoAnna said...

ERP, what do you mean? Why am I a loon?

A cell line derived from an aborted child still exploits the child. There are ethical alternatives to these cells but the companies in question (e.g., Senomyx) refuse to use them. I find that abhorrent.

Anonymous said...

Rear-view mirror ornaments are still okay, though?

Anonymous said...

If food products containing human fetuses are outlawed, only outlaws will have food products containing human fetuses.

Mrs J said...

LOL Moose, that was bad!

Ledasmom said...

Well, if the cell lines can be maintained in the lab, can the entirely lab-grown fetusburger be far behind? I'll have mine with bacon, please. Turkey bacon.

Jon said...

" Soylent Green is made out of people!"


Anybody remember that movie?

DocV

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Jon- that's why I picked the year 2022.

a.generic doc said...

Did he base this on some updated version of "A Modest Proposal"?

Jon said...

Must remember to check links before posting...

DocV

Ami said...

I was under the impression this was a tactic to try to make stem cell research illegal.

Anonymous said...

When the one Die Hard movie came out, it featured Glock pistols that were made of a porcelain compound vs. metal, and thus were undetectable by metal detectors.

Soon afterwards, a bill was introduced in the US Congress banning (or severely restricting) these weapons. I believe it passed, though I would have to check.

Of course, they don't exist. I wish I could tell you that this is the only case of Congress making laws for stuff that doesn't exist. But not by a longshot.

I would assume there's laws against using your Phaser on "kill".

Anonymous said...

I grew up in OK. There used to be three perfectly good state mental hospitals there, but apparently it's cheaper to send them to the Lege.

Tim, bet you can score in Caney. That's where my mom and her friend used to go for liquor, back when dry meant dry. They'd pack up seven children and a couple tons of laundry -- amazing what you can fit in those baskets.

-- littlefoot

Anonymous said...

JoAnna,

What's your opinion on HeLa?

Anonymous said...

I know exactly why he's doing it: "Well my opponent actually opposed a ban on the use of aborted fetuses in food products..."

Politics - do it for the sound bites.

 
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