"Dear Dr. Grumpy,
"You don't know me, but I'm a patient of Dr. Pissy's.
"I had an appointment last week, and noticed you standing in the hallway.
"Based on my observations, I'd like to offer you my services as a professional shopper and fashion expert. For a nominal fee I'd take your measurements, then carefully select clothes that are both fashionable and flattering to you.
"I want to reassure you that I understand your appearance is not your fault. I'm sure a man in your position doesn't have time to shop for himself, and your wife may be too hurried to select nice clothes for you. In addition, many men, in my experience, are color blind.
"I've enclosed my business card, and look forward to working with you.