Mr. Helpful: "My dad is missing an organ. I don't know what it's called."
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Heart? Appendix? Wurlitzer?
Mr. Helpful: "My dad is missing an organ. I don't know what it's called."
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Dr. Grumpy: "Any major illnesses in your family?"
Mr. Helpful: "My dad is missing an organ. I don't know what it's called."
A Blog detailing the insanity of my medical practice and the stupidity of everyday life.
Mr. Helpful: "My dad is missing an organ. I don't know what it's called."
Welcome to my whining!
This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients, or my everyday life, or anything else may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate. I could be making all this up. I may not even be a doctor. The only true statement on here is that I probably drink more Diet Coke than you do. A lot more.
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Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
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Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
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16 comments:
Sounds like Mr. Helpful is missing a brain.
I remember: he had his appendectomy removed.
"He just woke up in the motel bathtub, and it was two days later and he had a bunch of stitches across his torso. He doesn't really like to talk about it."
it's probably a Hammond Organ.
"Oh, right, it's his left arm"
"But it was delicious pan-seared and served with a butter-lemon-caper sauce."
Grumpy , stop taking their history on the fly, make them fill out the forms ahead of time, give them more time to screw up their answers.
His uterus?
[Reaching into pocket:] "You're a doctor, maybe you can tell me what this is."
His dad took the family dog to
be fixed. The vet took too long
so he took a nap next to fido. Fido then took his hosp band off
and put it on his mater's wrist.
45 minutes later, master distraught
and fido was licking his balls (which were safe and sound). Mystery solved!
I think Cthulhu Sashimi and Anonymous [6:15 PM] are both right....the surgery in the motel was having his uterus removed! That explains the stitches across his midsection, right?!
WV: asend (as in 'he can't tell his ass end from...)
i think mother removed it after i was born.
Twenty bucks says it's a gallbladder. It seems half of the population (myself included) is gallbladder-free.
Or, you know, his frontal lobe. Which would explain the son.
My male patients all have their own pet names for their organ. :-P
I think I remember now... it was his Nturn Nal Organ!
I vote the brain.
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