Dr. Grumpy: "Hi, this is Dr. Grumpy. You called for an appointment?"
Mrs. Frantic: "YES! I need to come in for headaches and neck pain from a car accident!"
Dr. Grumpy: "Okay, what insurance..."
Mrs. Frantic: "Hey! Back off! I'm talking to my lawyer here!"
Dr. Grumpy: "Hello?"
Mrs. Frantic: "Sorry, the dick who hit me was coming over here. I don't want him to know I called a doctor."
(siren in background)
Dr. Grumpy: "Ma'am, where are you?"
Mrs. Frantic: "I'm in my car! I told you! I was in an accident and need to see a neurologist!"
Dr. Grumpy: "When was the accident?"
Mrs. Frantic: "Uh, like maybe 5 minutes ago. Oh good, the cops are finally here. What takes them so long?"
Dr. Grumpy: "You called me instead of 911?"
Mrs. Frantic: "No, the dick said he called 911, so I figure I don't need to. You saw my dad last year, and I still have your card in my purse. I have a headache now and my neck hurts, so I thought I should make an appointment. When can I come in?"
Dr. Grumpy: "Ma'am, you should go to an ER tonight to get this checked out. That should be your first step."
Mrs. Frantic: "Damnit, I gotta go talk to the cop now. Where's my insurance stuff? I'll call you back."
I didn't hear from her the rest of the night, but suspect she'll call today.