Thursday, September 3, 2009

Wednesday, 9:05 p.m.

I had a cancellation for the 8:00 spot this morning, so when a new patient called last night to make an appointment, I called them back to see if they wanted to come in.

Dr. Grumpy: "Hi, this is Dr. Grumpy. You called for an appointment?"

Mrs. Frantic: "YES! I need to come in for headaches and neck pain from a car accident!"

Dr. Grumpy: "Okay, what insurance..."

Mrs. Frantic: "Hey! Back off! I'm talking to my lawyer here!"

Dr. Grumpy: "Hello?"

Mrs. Frantic: "Sorry, the dick who hit me was coming over here. I don't want him to know I called a doctor."

(siren in background)

Dr. Grumpy: "Ma'am, where are you?"

Mrs. Frantic: "I'm in my car! I told you! I was in an accident and need to see a neurologist!"

Dr. Grumpy: "When was the accident?"

Mrs. Frantic: "Uh, like maybe 5 minutes ago. Oh good, the cops are finally here. What takes them so long?"

Dr. Grumpy: "You called me instead of 911?"

Mrs. Frantic: "No, the dick said he called 911, so I figure I don't need to. You saw my dad last year, and I still have your card in my purse. I have a headache now and my neck hurts, so I thought I should make an appointment. When can I come in?"

Dr. Grumpy: "Ma'am, you should go to an ER tonight to get this checked out. That should be your first step."

Mrs. Frantic: "Damnit, I gotta go talk to the cop now. Where's my insurance stuff? I'll call you back."

I didn't hear from her the rest of the night, but suspect she'll call today.


♥ Braja said...

Ok, so karma sometimes looks like it works reaaaal good....

thegooddrlaura said...

Dude, serves you right for calling a patient yourself that you haven't even met yet. Deep down inside, are you really a nice guy? Or are you just a masochist?

(all due respect, and all that)

Grumpy, M.D. said...

thegooddrlaura- I genuinely try to be helpful. I'm not a masochist, I don't think.

In this case, the only reason I called was because I knew Mary wouldn't be able to fill the 8:00 appointment in the morning, so it would go wasted. Since someone called I figured I'd at least try to get someone in it.

So much for that idea.

Fiz said...

She's planning to sue for whiplash! As did somebody I barely hit and yet five other persons were unhurt. Nor was he the driver. He took all his possessions out of the car very carefully and then began the worst acting I've ever seen and that included children's drama! He wouldn't go with the ambulance and the police told to either go, or stop b*gg88ing about. This guy took £2,000 out of my car insurance, for an unprovable condition! Creep!

Bamboo said...

Oh lovely! Your stories are great, but I always ask myself the same question. How on earth are these people THAT stupid? It's shocking some of the stuff I read on your blog. I've taken care of some special people but nothing at all like the ones you get.

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Bamboo- Mary and Annie tell me that everyday. Both have worked in medical practices before, but have never seen anything like what I get.

Serious Replies Only said...

Looks like someone was laying the groundwork for a personal injury lawsuit. What a tool!

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