Friday, September 11, 2009

Mr. Jackass- The Sequel

For those of you who've already forgotten who I'm talking about, click here. It's also only been 3 days, so you should probably go see a neurologist.

So his appointment was at 10:00 today.

10:00 - No Mr. Jackass.

10:05 - No Mr. Jackass.

10:10 - No Mr. Jackass.

10:15 - Phone rings. It's Mr. Jackass's secretary. She's calling to say that he's in the lobby of my building, but is tied up in a VERY IMPORTANT telephone meeting, and can't come up right now. Mary told her that we don't see new patients who are more than 20 minutes late. She says she'll tell him.

10:17 - Mr. Jackass, cell phone glued to head, shows up. Signs in. He looks at Mary and says, "There. I'm here. Now let me finish my meeting" and sits down in the lobby. Argues with someone on the phone.

10:18 - I go to door, call him back. He doesn't even look up, just gives me the "I'm on the phone, leave me alone" gesture.

10:20 - My 11:00 (a follow-up visit) shows up early. So I take her back. Mr. Jackass gives me dirty look when I call her back, but continues his meeting.

10:35 - Mrs. Follow-Up and I finish her appointment, and I walk her out. I give Mary the "Mr. Jackass is toast" gesture, 15 minutes after I should have.

10:40 - Mr. Jackass hangs up his phone

He goes up to the front desk and tells Mary that "He'll see Dr. Grumpy now". Mary tells him that he's missed his appointment, and can no longer be seen. He starts yelling at her, saying he was here on-time, and in my office by 10:20, like we told him. Demands to talk to the office manager.

I was standing out of sight behind a shelf, because I expected this to happen and wanted to hear it. So I made my appearance. He immediately laid into me about the fact that HE WASN'T BEING SEEN ON TIME BECAUSE HE'D BEEN SITTING IN MY LOBBY FOR A WHILE AND WAS A BUSY GUY WITH STUFF TO DO.

I told him that it's our office policy that we don't see, or reschedule, new patients who are more than 20 minutes late. He insisted he wasn't late. I told him he was, and pointed out that when I tried to call him back for his appointment he'd refused to come back because he was on the phone.

So he demanded to talk to Dr. Grumpy.

And I introduced myself.

For perhaps 10 seconds it was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop.

Then he picked up his phone, pressed a key, and said "Yeah, it's me. Patch me back into the meeting". And walked out the door.

At 11:45 the ER called me. He'd gone over there and told them he needed to be evaluated for a stroke. They asked me to come over and see him. I said no.

And to all a good night.

64 comments:

Anonymous said...

Unbelievable! on so many levels - the lack of common sense coupled with such arrogance is truly unbelievable!

Flavius said...

Holy crap, must have been an important meeting.

Very good story, worth the wait :)

-Flavius

Aaron said...

Bravo!
Have been waiting for this all day!

Dr. S

Anonymous said...

Words fail me..the sooner that guy leaves the planet,the better.What a jerk.

runti said...

Holy crap!!!! Whatta Jackass!!! I hope karma catches up to him quickly and in a most embarrassing way...

LOVE the blog Dr Grumpy! I've been refreshing regularly to see Part Deux--I am hooked!!!

Beloved Parrot said...

What a mess. Good for you for not caving in.

rxgirl said...

Good for you!

Michelle said...

That's what I call good boundaries Dr. Grumpy. You shouldn't enable people like that!

The Lonely Midwife said...

And count your lucky stars you weren't on ED call and could say "no". Did he honestly give your name as his neurologist? How many ways can you say POMPOUS ASS?

Chris@Maugeritaville said...

You, sir, are the MAN!

What do you mean, you can't work yourself into his schedule? What kind of doctor are you anyway?

Jackass with a Stroke...the title of your memoir.

Anonymous said...

Thank-you Dr. Grumpy for posting so promptly! This guy is just going to have to wait for the big one when he can't walk or talk.
-whitecap nurse

Meagan said...

People like Mr. Jackass don't get that they did anything wrong in these situations. I do applaud you for refusing to go to the ER to see him.

erichollins said...

Awesome!

"formato"

Anonymous said...

TEAM Dr GRUMPY and MARY!

WOOT!

Well Played!

I knew L'Douche would be in all his douchey glory! I've taken care of these tools who think they are Bill Gates-Pope John Paul II-Bernie Madoff and Donald Trump.

Only the little people wait for a neurologist after they had a stroke.

And I wonder what the hell is his family doing? Probably figuring out how to spend business tycoon's money after that second bleed finishes him.

LD50 Rat

ERRN4U said...

Him = Turd
You = Awesome!!!!

Too funny that they called you to come evaluate him.

moppie said...

LMAO. Are you the only neurologist in town to get him both in the office and hospital?

Anonymous said...

Wow, good for you! I just wish I could have seen his face when you introduced yourself.

The saying "you get more bees with honey" is so true. Being nasty really doesn't get you anywhere, especially an ER visit with Dr. Grumpy! :)

Anonymous said...

Rock ON, Dr. G!

Charles said...

I would have expected as much from your first encounter with him. I would have loved to see his face when you introduced yourself. Oh well.

Lipstick said...

This is completely hilarious. How in the world do these people find you? My favorite part, of course, is the silence when you introduced yourself!

The D-Bag Daily said...

Douchebag!

Did you flash him a big smile when you introduced yourself?

What's sad about this is that he learned absolutely nothing - just got back on his phone like an asshole.

Rorschach said...

"The accumulated filth of all their cell phones and IHOP coupons will foam up in their empty skull cavities and the Mr. Jackasses and Mrs. Bimbos will come into my office and shout 'Save us!' and I'll look down and whisper 'No.'"

Stitch said...

I have no words to describe the respect I have for you today Dr. Grumpy.

GradStudent said...

I wish I could've been a fly on the wall when you introduced yourself.

this is better than TV.

Kim Kasch said...

And I think it's rude when people are on the phone when they order at Starbucks.

Maha said...

Perhaps you should consider an alternative diagnosis to stroke. FITH syndrome - Fucked in the Head syndrome. Jackass indeed!

Anonymous said...

the balls of that man. what does he think, you'll see him when he's good and ready? Mr Jackass he is and a whole lot more. He probably doesn't care that other people, have a schedule and stick to it. what an asswipe. i am glad you stood your ground dr g. and Mary too. Kudos.

signed
mm

Mary Worth said...

"I said no."

Good for you. I don't believe you make these stories up, but some of them, like "Mr. Jackass" are almost unbelievable.

Call me Bob said...

Just... Woa. I don't know how to react.

Jason said...

I think people on cell phones have got the be the rudest thing and my biggest pet peeve. If you are somewhere expecting service, how can we help you when you got a cell phone glued to your ear. At the pharmacy, i usually tell those people that i'll help them when they are done on their phone, they usually get pissed but hopefully they will learn. Peaople dont go to mcdonalds drive thru talking on a cell phone so what makes it ok to do it in a dr's office? effed up people. I loved your post!!

landlockedtxn said...

No wonder he may have had a stroke....showing all the typical signs of jackassedness....

My only regret is I could not have seen the show as it went down.

Keep up the good work!!

webhill said...

awesome. SO awesome.
You know, a client of mine recently called us and asked if, since his dog had bitten him, he should "punch it in the nose and show it who's in charge around here." I wonder if perhaps you should hire my client to handle your patients. Or something.

;)

(btw the answer is "no, do not punch your dog in the nose, that is inappropriate.")

peedee said...

ahhhhh, you played that so well Dr. G!!

Wait, were you on call??? Did you have to see him in the ER?? Is there a part trois??


My word verification is "twees". When I say that word I think of Elmer Fudd. lol

Anonymous said...

"He goes up to the front desk and tells Mary that 'He'll see Dr. Grumpy now'."

Wow... Is this guy serious? Some people really do think they're the most important thing on the planet and everything must be done when they say so. What a douchebag!

If he has another stroke, will his meetings, barbecues, and whatever-the-f***-else he thinks is more important still be so important?

Maybe he will have another stroke and (I know this is kinda wrong) finally die so there will be one less jackass like him in the world.



L.

Amanda said...

What kills me is that this self-aggrandizing twit probably would have dragged himself away from the phone had he known that YOU were the actual M.D., rather than just some medico-drone "Buttinsky".

I like to think him asking to be reconnected to the call was his way of slinking away with his tail between his legs. The very tiny part of him that his mama raised right is deeply, deeply ashamed.

But then again, I've been accused of being unrealistically optimistic :P

Rachael said...

can having a stroke bring out his jackass tendencies more or what?

I don't think I have ever heard of someone being so rude to a doctor, especially a specialist!

Anonymous said...

Regards our wager, send me your address, I'll send $2.50.

I know people like this, blow you off while they yammer on the cell, usually loud enough to be annoying to the entire hemisphere. But, should you be talking on yours, they will rush up and start blabbing before you can end your conversation.

He probably only has "Ball's Pussy".

The Good Cook said...

Perhaps he was speaking to his maker regarding his upcoming reservation?

When I say "maker" I am referring to Beazelbob. Who else would this guy listen too?

Sarah said...

I just came across your blog. I am a veterinarian and appreciate your daily sufferings. Very entertaining.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the whole unbelievable story.

(I was kinda hoping --for sake of the man's lacunar brain tissue, that the punchline was going to be something about you wearing your green Incredible Hunk costume that day, instead of Batman, as usual, but report of the guy's demeanor did not suggest that he shouldn't have for a minute not considered you'd be who you are.)

Is there any possible physiological reason e.g. incomplete frontal lobotomy, cerebral disassociation, that would explain why Mr. J could not realize that he should be paying more attention to the business at hand?

modestypress said...

When "silent Cal" President Calvin Coolidge died, Dorothy Parker reportedly said, "How can they tell?"

I presume when Mr. Jackass had a stroke, there was no way for the people in daily contact with him to notice the difference.

Anonymous said...

Glad to hear this!

But jackasses are jackasses, after all, so....document the hell out of this whole thing in your records. Just a sneaky paranoid suspicion, because you know none of the effects from this will be his fault.

amy said...

You are all kinds of awesome, Dr. Grumpy. And I think my brother-in-law went to the same school of jack-assary as your patient; he too is a very, very important man to whom the rules of civility do not apply.

Gert said...

Jackass is too good aname for him.

You rock, Dr. G!

jamiegirl said...

Oh, where do you start with a human being who behaves like this? Even if he were Donald Trump (is he really THAT important, or the pope, or whomever the big shot of the moment is) in my life that does not excuse his horrid behavior.
First, hats of to you Dr. G and your amazing ability to maintain your dignity. Bravo. You did not cheapen yourself for this shumck.
Second, I think of his family and co-workers. Mercy. They must just hate the man.
Third, being an ex So-Cal girl I think of scripts. You and I could come up with a doozy of a medical show. You know you'd have to sell it as a sitcom because no one would believe the ignorant patients you seem to find looming in your practice. Not Grey's Anatomy, but Frontal Lobotomy??

I just love to you to death Dr. G and when I finish nursing school I hope you are still in business and Annie is ready to retire!

Sarah Blue said...

I think this is the best story I've read on this blog! Absolutely incredible!

Grumpy, M.D. said...

I thought my cruise posts were better. Or at least more fun to write.

Helen said...

I did enjoy your cruise posts a great deal, but this is amusing. What an ass - I would have loved to have seen his face. I feel a bit sorry for his poor secretary!

Fiz said...

What an incredibly self-important JERK! Who does he think he is? Good for you and Mary, Dr Grumpy. So did he have a stroke or will the next one be the big "Time-Out"?

Deodand said...

"...after that second bleed finishes him."

I just hope he isn't driving when it happens.

thegooddrlaura said...

1. Good for you for refusing to see him in the ER!
2. Unfortunately that's where he'll go and that ER nurse from the other blog will be stuck with him!
3. You can probably contact his insurance company and put some kind of a block on him. That way he can't have any encounter with you (office, E.R., hospital consult, whatever) because the insurance won't cover it.

rxgirl said...

can you actually refuse to see him in the ER? What do you say? "eh, he's a jackass and I don't want to see him...?" How about...I'm too busy cleaning out Ed's tank? dunno, just wondering.

Grumpy, M.D. said...

I no longer take ER call, so I'm not obligated to see anyone I don't want to.

ER's Mom said...

I'd say I'm surprised, but I'm not.

Sad, isn't it?

peedee said...

Ok Dr G. 54+ comments. I think you've reached rock star status.

=D

The Bus Driver said...

wow i woulda paid a hefty sum to be a fly on the wall in your office when he realized who you were. Good for you and Mary to refuse rescheduling him or letting him bully you guys into seeing him.

Anonymous said...

This was just too crazy!! I love your blog...(when i think I've had a bad day I just read one of your stories :)

PCU RN

Calladus said...

Maybe he was a nice, considerate guy before his stroke?

I know, it's a long shot - but maybe?

knitalot3 said...

What a jerk! I can imagine what any follow up visits would have been like. Good riddance!

I like the cruise posts best, but I like them all so far.

mojitogirl said...

BRAVO!!!!!!

BRAVISSSIMOOOO!!!!

Standing ovation to you and Mary. You have achieved star status. This was better than "Who shot J.R. Ewing"

Anonymous said...

This was the encounter my pharmacy dreams of. Thank you for giving us a bit of hope and one heck of a laugh!
My word: astesset. Wow.

Mike H said...

What an ass!! Congrats for giving him the boot... if it were me I'd probably be up for investigation as a result of scheduling the jerk for a series of enemas, colonoscopies, and urethal scrapes for his stroke condition. ;-)

GilmorePharmD said...

I hope he decides to "have a few too many drinks" at his BBQ, develope maybe a little atrial fib, and throw a massive cardioembolic stroke!! :) If fate was sealing for this ass-clown, he'd have his "clot" in his temporal lobe in Broca's area!!! He is aware of everything, but has Broca's aphasia, and can't get his words out of his mouth!! lol, perfect ironic fate for such an important douchebag!! Have fun having only the thoughts in your damaged mind, and no ability to have conference-call-meetings on your phone!! But this jackass will prolly live forever, seems how all the douches and jackasses out live caring and hardworking peeps.

Mike Looney said...

I was right 318.2

 
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