Saturday, August 1, 2009

"When will my labs be back?"

Labs fall into 3 groups:

1. Regular tests (done at the lab, back within a few hours).

2. Local send-outs (done in the city, but we "send-out" the sample to another hospital. Can take a few days).

3. Major League send-outs (only a few places in the country, or even the world, may do these. Several weeks to get back).

So yesterday afternoon, around 4:00, I was trying to track down some results in category #3. The hospital lab kept switching me from person to person, and each time I had to tell them my story, the patient's name, etc.

Finally I reached a supervisor, who said: "Oh, those are rare labs. We had to send them quite a ways. I'm going to have to connect you to Israel."

I was quite surprised, but patiently held the line. After about 10 seconds it began ringing, and a male voice answered.

Male voice: "Lab, can I help you?"

Dr. Grumpy: "Um, I'm looking for some send-out results from about a month ago on Mr. John Smith..... Hey, what time is it there anyway?"

Male voice (surprised): "Uh, about 4 in the afternoon."

Dr. Grumpy: "Oh..... I thought I was being connected to Israel."

Male voice: "I'm Israel Nunez. I work in send-outs. What's the patient's birthday?"

At least he got me my lab results.


peedee said...

chuckle. =D

Bella said...

and the time in urbappalachia is ....

ha! thanks for the laugh!

Anonymous said...

Imagine all the doctors that never bother asking the time... inevitably end up believing test results are conspicuously processed in Israel. (They really should clarify to where/whom callers are being transfered; technically speaking, you could call a hospital in Seattle and end up speaking to someone in New York and then DC,right?-it'd be nice to know your voice has reached 3-4 different places in a few minutes.)

Holly said...

Oh you know that supervisor so loves doing that to people.

Phathead said...

That's great, hope he got the joke at least

Anonymous said...

Oh, you had me fooled with "When will my labs be back?" I thought you were going to talk about Labrador retrievers.

Dragonfly said...

That's awesome!

amsieime said...

lol..didn;t see that coming.. ^^

Phillipia said...

how funny...I needed that laugh...thx:)

Fiz said...

Anonymous, so did I!

Spook, RN said...

LOL. We send our X-rays, CTs, MRIs and Ultrasounds to be read by radiologists in Australia after 11 pm.

Anytime there's a critical result on the films, we get this call from them and a voice with this Aussie accent asking us to confirm the receipt of their report.

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