Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Ed! Don't Jump!

Ed* is my office mascot, and has been since 2001. While he changes incarnations every few years, his name remains Ed. He is a Betta, and carries out his office responsibilities with great enthusiasm.

So it came as a shock to start my day this morning to find that Ed had attempted suicide sometime during the night, and was flopping around on the floor next to his bowl. He's since been returned to his home, and suicide precautions have been taken by lowering the water level.

I dissolved some Prozac in his bowl, and called for an emergent visit from the aquatic psychiatrist.


*Not his real name. Ed comes from a family with a long tradition of service in the health care industry, and has requested anonymity due to concerns his parents will learn he's working for a lowly neurologist, instead of a surgical subspecialty.

25 comments:

CrownedwithVictory said...

Poor Ed. He couldn't stand the incessant tapping of fingers on the glass any longer.

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Actually, Mary always warns me when someone has small kids with them, and I move Ed to the break room for those appointments.

He's been knocked over 3 times since 2001. Once by my kids, once by a patient's kids, and once by a wheelchair.

knitalot3 said...

Hang in there Ed!!!

Anonymous said...

if there isn't one in the tank you might want to add an airater to the tank. The water might not have enough free oxygen in it.

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Betta's are air breathers. They dont' need an aerator.

Liz said...

A support group may be what 'Ed' needs.

I had a betta I won at the Christmas raffle...he freaked me out by getting very animated whenever I approached his bowl. My husband said it was because he knew I was the one who fed him, but I couldn't take the pressure....he was just so needy!

I moved him outside to the garden pond and he did very well. One day, he was gone. No more fish for me, unless they come on a plate with lots of butter.

Anonymous said...

Maybe he needs a Mrs. Ed? Great blog btw, read it all the time.

Beloved Parrot said...

Prozac?

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Betta's don't play well with other Bettas. Very aggressive buggers. I'm not looking to open up an illegal fish-fighting ring. I'll leave that to Michael Vick.

Fiz said...

Poor Ed! I hope he can resist the urge, or you'll be doing staff and irritation, no sorry, patient, therapy!

Grumpy, M.D. said...

I hope he snaps out of it. I've heard fish don't do well with ECT.

Anonymous said...

Bettas commonly jump out of their bowls. Sometimes you have to put a little mesh over the top so they don't get out. I had one pass away after jumping out.

Peg said...

Sounds like Ed is cat-like with 9 lives...knocked over 3 times and one suicide attempt. If this is true he has 5 more chances :)
Go Ed!

Becky the Techie said...

Dude, a bowl? That's like forcing a fat American to live in a Japanese hotel room w/ no AC/heat. The 2 gallon here is a much healthier environment: http://www.petsmart.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2752291&lmdn=Price

but a 5 gal. with a filter and small heater is much better for "Ed". :)

bek said...

It's amazing what bettas can survive. My daughter had one that attempted suicide twice...once we found him in a basket of laundry and the other time he ended up in the floor register. Got quite fuzzy both times yet managed to survive the ordeals.

I want another one, but I fear the odds of surviving the cat we now have would not be in its favor.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like Ed the 8-year-old fish is doing quite well in his bowl. Dang. Mine never lived that long, but the worst they did was in a fancy tank with temperature control and filtration.

kc said...

I lost a betta to some sort of stress induced fish disease which caused him to behave erratically, including jumping out of the water (so said the guy at Petco). He didn't make it (the betta, not the Petco guy). My new betta has a lid on his tank.

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Anon- Ed isn't 8 years old. He's been through several incarnations. But the name never changes.

Hit 40 said...

LMAO!! Do not let anyone know their is prozac in that water. They will drink it and the fish. Try some adderall next.

TheOtherOne said...

Bettas will do that. I preferred a nice calm goldfish. Mine (I went through 3 or 4 or them, at least) were named "Moby".

Andrea said...

Did you give Ed a med guide with his Prozac? Poor guy...I don't know if he's aware that antidepressants can increase the risk of suicidal thoughts or actions. Keep an eye on him.

Lilorfnannie said...

We used to have bettas. I tried it twice- once when the kids were real little and they killed it by taking it out of the bowl to play with it or something (I was out of the room, obviously, found it out afterward, but they admitted it.) I waited a year or more I think and tried again- nope, still too young- the younger one (boy) took him out and squished him between his fingers- No more fishies for this house- the dog fares much better :-D

Ladyk73 said...

oh my...just please don't keep him in an iPond....

http://www.myfishtank.net/fish-news/ipond/

A local fish store/breeder had thre females and one male in the same tank (for breeding)...they need that mix to keep everyone in line (it was funny...everyone had their own aquarium turf...)

Jennifer said...

Dr. Grumpy,

Long time fan, first time writing in. Bettas are notorious jumpers, they are supposed to be kept in tanks with lids on them. Also, no bowls! One gallon tank is the BARE minimum. I am a betta professional, I know all about what makes these little guys happy. I even run a little rescue. If you want a betta care sheet (or if anyone does), please e-mail me at my above username. I will be THRILLED to spread my betta knowledge. ;)

Anon said...

Angel fish are close to bettas, I had both (and an insane guppy) for years.

AF and B would both be missing most of their tails every other week or so.

B w/o long flowing tail, smug AF that kept B in its sight...and v/v.

Nothing like leaving for school and seeing your AF with a one inch tail and come back to see it with tailfin about 2mm away from the meat. Ouch.

 
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