Thursday, May 28, 2009

It's 3:28 a.m. Do You Know Where Your Neurologist Is?

He's at the 24-hour Wall-to-Wall-Mart, buying a boatload of decongestants for the stuffy nose that's kept him up all night.

And the cashier is a girl with a shaved head, different colored eyes, and a surgically forked tongue.

She's wearing a T-shirt that says "Eat Corpses Now!"

Attached to the T-shirt is a big blue Wall-to-Wall-Mart "How can I help you?" button.



Today's Walmart worker.....tomorrow's medical resident.

Moppie said...

Those forked tongues creep me out. Reminds me of fictionized scary scaly moldy ocean creatures

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Not only that, Moppie, but it makes it hard to eat ice cream cones!

I personally couldn't live like that!

Anonymous said...

How painful!! How much does something like that cost? What type of surgeon "forks" a tongue?

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Oral surgeon, roughly around $1000.

Anonymous said...

Grumpy, as a neurologist, I'd have thought you'd approve of the tongue fork. It makes testing the VIIth cranial nerve easier.

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Only another neurologist, or an ENT, would post that.

Is that you DB?

Good point, though.

knitalot3 said...

Eeewwww! Can that be fixed? What does that cost?

Sabra said...

Yeah, a forked tongue is nothin'. If you're feeling very very brave (or you're really bored, like I was), Google the BMEzine wiki, and then look up "inversion." *shudder* I do wonder how much alcohol/how many psych problems one needs to make that seem like a good idea.

Uro*MA said...

LOL you wonder why she works the midnight shift? She would probably scare the old folks... oh my!

ShrinkingDoc said...

Yet another reason to avoid Walmart at all costs.

The tongue reminds me of something. I had the TV on in the background while I was wasting time on Facebook this weekend and looked up in time to be horrified by the topic on Taboo on National Geographic--eyeball tattooing!

This dood was injecting black ink under what looked like the bulbar conjunctiva of this other dood's eye without anesthesia. It made the guy's sclera look totally black. He only did one eye at a time, though, cuz he wanted to make sure he didn't go blind. WTF?

An ophthalmologist they interviewed thought this could potentially threaten one's sight (really?) and that wanting to have this done might be a sign of a significant mental illness (seriously?).


Anonymous said...

Here in California, otc decongestants SUCK--well, at least the kind you can buy without permission from the pharmacy staff.

Gotta act like a meth cooker if you want relief, how ironic. Because you need to stock up on the stuff. Gotta stash your pseudoephedrine around the house, in your luggage, in your car, in your office, just in case you need one after the pharmacy closes. Cause when you need one you need one, and that phenylephrine SUCKS!

Nothing gets me more pissed off than not being able to get some pseudoephedrine at night for a gagging/coughing kid of mine--always when we're on vacation, because the pharmacy is closed for the night. STUPID METH HEADS ARE RUINING IT FOR EVERYONE!

I suppose there are always the topicals but those scare the crap out of me--I have a colleague who is dependent upon them and has been for years.

Ann Nonnymous, RPh

Did you know that you're my hero for reading and commenting on all the pharmacist blogs?? I bet you're a really cool doc when the pharmacist calls for clarification or with a recommendation.

Rx Intern said...

It's scary, but cool at the same time.

Having coming fresh from cell biology and anatomy (2 weeks ago), I thought back to when our professor said that only neurologists know how to properly test the nerves in our body. He also said that they're the only ones who really know the cranial nerves like the back of their hand.

Sigh...bad memories of that class...yikes!

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Thank you, Ann. I try to see it from the view that we are on the same side of the trenches.

Rx Intern: It's not so bad once you get used to doing it all the time.

Fiz said...

We can still get pseudoephidrine OTC here - come to the UK! (Everybody else does!)

Anonymous said...

I totally must get 1..wonder if my dental will cover it.(it's medically necessary, for scaring off people-reducing my stress level-improving the bp and this living a long life!

Anonymous said...

I think you had a bad dream.

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