Monday, July 27, 2015

Racket

Dr. Grumpy: "All right, so the test Dr. Hand has asked me to do is called an EMG/NCV. It involves running some shocks through your arm, and putting a needle into different muscles, to see if you have carpal tunnel syndrome."

Mr. Carpal: "Yeah, whatever. I know your game."

Dr. Grumpy: "Excuse me?"

Mr. Carpal: "You and he are in on this, right?"

Dr. Grumpy: "No, I mean, I've never met him, I just saw his name on the order you brought in as the guy who ordered the test."

Mr. Carpal: "We all know I don't need this test."

Dr. Grump: "Well, the reason for doing it is..."

Mr. Carpal: "Don't give me that. This is all part of you guys' get-rich-scam. You're bilking me and my insurance."

Dr. Grumpy: "Sir, you don't have to have the test if you don't want to. Certainly, you're free to leave now, and there won't be any charge to anyone."

Mr. Carpal "Yeah, but I need the hand surgery. And Dr. Hand won't do it without this test. So I have to play along with your cozy racket here."

Dr. Grumpy: "I'm sorry you feel that way, but it really is..."

Mr. Carpal: "Look, I'm here. Just get the greedy game over with."


16 comments:

Hattie said...

I'll bet he could have been a doctor too,but he never got the breaks.

Anonymous said...

Hope you zapped him good, doc. But seriously, what a doofus. I have had the same test - and it showed I did NOT need carpel tunnel surgery.
Tests are there for a reason!
JFSinIL

Candida Gomez said...

Wow, rude much?

The guy needs to read more about medicine. Ignorance is dangerous. :(

Anonymous said...

Oh, it'$ $o all about the big buck$ with you neurologi$t$...

Sheryl said...

"Oh, I'm sorry. You've come to the wrong Doctor. I'm a neurologist, I don't treat assholes. I'll have Mary show you out."

Anonymous said...

I hope you billed him for Dr. Google's time too.

MM9U said...

I'm about to go through this test, again. The last doctor gave the best description: "Did you ever do the dead frog bit in high school, where you shock its leg and see it move? Well, you're the frog." Considering the test, I certainly wouldn't want to upset the doctor right before he did it!

Packer said...

Six months ago when I was really really sick, I sure didn't question the need for test all I questioned was why do I have to wait for them to be done.

Ivan Ilyich said...

I thought NCV and EMG were two different tests. Ilve had them both, at different times.

Stephanie said...

Fire him ASAP. No matter what you do or don't do, he will cause you trouble.

Anonymous said...

Hook his a$$ up to a car battery

BobF said...

Ever considered finishing nails instead of needles?

Anonymous said...

I am surprised the patient didn't say doctors had their hand in the cookie jar too. What a doofus.

Deborah Brett said...

Refer to proctologist for cranial-rectal extraction.

PGYx said...

They are each components of electrodiagnostic testing: electromyography and nerve conduction studies (NCS). It is rare to have an EMG alone without NCS (occasionally this may be done at a previous visit) because we need data from both studies to figure out whether the problem primarily affects motor neurons (e.g., ALS), nerves, or muscles.

PGYx said...

Plenty of people feel this way about doctors. My favorite farmer insists that her doctor gets $40 to write a prescription, which leads her to write unnecessary prescriptions just to make money. sometimes it feels like a majority of folks hate us. At this point I don't tell anyone I'm a doctor unless absolutely necessary, just in case I'm speaking with folks in the "doctors are terrible people" camp.

 
Locations of visitors to this page