Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Monday afternoon

Dr. Grumpy: "Looking at these reports, the MRI of your neck is normal. So is the CT scan, and the X-rays."

Ms. Ichabod: "That's what all the neck surgeons say, too! But I know something is wrong!"

Dr. Grumpy: "Okay, but..."

Ms. Ichabod: "This is why Dr. Sousaphone said he was referring me to you! He said you specialized in cases like mine."

Dr. Grumpy: "Well, I'm not sure there are any further studies to be done because..."

Ms. Ichabod: "You realize my head could completely fall off my shoulders and I could die at any time due to the uncaring attitude of doctors like you, DON'T YOU?!!!"


 After 20 years, I still don't know how I manage to keep a straight face at these times.

21 comments:

J said...

I hate it when my head falls off.

Anonymous said...

So who did you refer back to Dr Sousaphone?

Brian said...

I think the (mental) patients sphincter muscles are keeping the head right between the cheeks and would be impossible to become detached.

Gracie's Mom said...

How could his head possibly fall off his shoulders when it is currently residing up his arse?
Also, I was always under the impression that a neurologist and a psychiatrist were two totally different
types of "head doctors".

skidmark said...

"Why, yes. Yes I do realize that. But there's nothing we can do until that happens.

But you are in luck. Dr. Frankenstein is on staff at the big hospital where we have admitting privileges and he will be able to fix you right up.

Just be sure that the ambulance people bring the right head when they bring in the rest of you."

stay safe.

Officer Cynical said...

It's all fun and games until somebody's head falls off.

bobbie said...

You could have at least sewed her earlobes to her shoulders to prevent that!

Melle Mel said...

Don't push me 'cause I'm close to the edge.
I'm trying not to lose my head.

Glen said...

Send the gent out for a custom Philadelphia collar. To be removed only when doing PT (perhaps prescribe a home exercise unit). Remember, patient Satisfaction is the First vital sign.

charles said...

I hope that you said: "Here take these two bolts, and call me in the morning if they don't hold."

Stacey Gordon said...

Careful, you could shoot an eye out too!

Anonymous said...

This is why the windows in our center do not open

Anonymous said...

Does Sousaphone not like you?

Is there a conspiracy to send you all the crazy ones?

What does Ichabod think is wrong with her neck?

So many questions.

Anonymous said...

I'd prescribe a very uncomfortable and restrictive (and expensive) neck brace, and tell her to continue to wear it until her symptoms resolve.

Anonymous said...

...999, 1000, 1001, 1002. Make that 1002 uses for duct tape!

Anonymous said...

You always were trying to a get a head.

Anonymous said...

As my classmate the neurosurgeon would say "what are you nuts"

Anonymous said...

... the hip bone is connected to the tailbone and the tailbone is connected to the backbone and the backbone is connected to the neck bone and the neck bone is connected to the head bone ...(oh, the backbone is connected to the shoulder bone and the rib bones and the wishbone, and all three are connected to the arm bones) ... and, so on and so on, ... now hear the word of the Lord!

Anonymous said...

Wow, what on earth did you do to offend Dr. Sousaphone so badly?

Angry Psychiatrist said...

Dont complain. You bitchez then send them to me the psychiatrist

Lin said...

Well actually if the patient had atlantoaxial instability that was being missed she could be telling the truth. Didja get an open mouth xray?

 
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