Dr. Grumpy: "I need a new iPhone case, one with a belt clip. Mine wore out and broke."
Commission Guy: "I can help you with that. You want one that lights up when you're talking?"
Dr. Grumpy: "No. Don't get me started on that."
Commission Guy: "All right, how about this one. It's on sale!"
Dr. Grumpy: "It's kind of thick... Not sure I need that."
Commission Guy: "It's a great deal, though! Normally $289, this week only $199!"
Dr. Grumpy: "ONLY $199? Uh, no, I just need something to protect it from scratches and stuff, like this $15 one here. Hey, do you have this kind in black? And with a belt clip?"
Commission Guy: "Yeah, but that won't protect your iPhone. You just said your last case broke. You need something sturdier."
Dr. Grumpy: "Maybe, but I'm not paying $199 for an iPhone case."
Commission Guy: "Your phone could get wet or dropped or something. Look at this case as an investment."
Dr. Grumpy: "Okay, I'm taking this one for $15 and going to check out. Thank you."
Commission Guy: "Wait! This $199 case is a great deal! It's bullet proof!"
Dr. Grumpy: "BULLET PROOF?"
Commission Guy: "Well, against a small caliber handgun, I mean. Couldn't you use that in an iPhone case?"
Dr. Grumpy: "I wear my phone on the right side of my belt. So, yes, if I'm worried about someone sneaking up and shooting me in the right hip I suppose it's useful. But I think I'll take my chances with the $15 case."
Commission Guy: "But..."
Dr. Grumpy: "Besides, if someone is shooting at me, the safety of my iPhone is the least of my worries."
I left and went to another store, where I got a cheap case. Upon getting home my curiosity got the best of me, and I looked online. The only bullet proof iPhone case I found was $650, and didn't look anything like what he was trying to sell me.
And then I had these visions of Linda Carter, in a 1977 Wonder Woman outfit, using an iPhone instead of her magic bracelets to deflect bullets while fighting bad guys.