Mr. Vague: "No. I mean, not that I know of. But you never know. You know?"
Friday, November 30, 2012
Yes, I know
Mr. Vague: "No. I mean, not that I know of. But you never know. You know?"
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Dr. Grumpy: "Have you ever been a smoker?"
Mr. Vague: "No. I mean, not that I know of. But you never know. You know?"
A Blog detailing the insanity of my medical practice and the stupidity of everyday life.
Mr. Vague: "No. I mean, not that I know of. But you never know. You know?"
Welcome to my whining!
This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients, or my everyday life, or anything else may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate. I could be making all this up. I may not even be a doctor. The only true statement on here is that I probably drink more Diet Coke than you do. A lot more.
Singing Foo!
Singing Foo!
Twitter fans- you can follow me @docgrumpy
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
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2012
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November
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- Yes, I know
- Call out the instigator, because...
- Dr. Grumpy's Gift Guide, 2012!
- My brain hurts
- Doctors behaving badly
- November 23, 1983
- Thanksgiving Thursday morning
- Tuesday morning
- Medical education
- Microbiology
- Weekend entertainment
- Thursday afternoon
- Found in a hospital chart
- History in 1:37
- All shook up
- Probably bothers bystanders, too
- Veteran's Day
- With my most sincere apologies to Gilbert & Sullivan
- Rimshot
- Mary's desk
- Thank you for sharing
- Reflections
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- Fun with online medical surveys
- Claustrophobia
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November
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15 comments:
So, that means he's a drinker who drinks a lot and has no memory of what he does, so maybe he is a smoker when he drinks and doesn't know it?
What he really means is that he never caught himself smoking.
Makes you wonder what he's smoking.
Maybe he's just afraid to look?
Screamers are like that, you know.
stay safe.
The joys of Ambien.
NOW I know you're making things up. This just isn't possible. . .unless you're a seriously intimidating doctor...now that's possible.
Maybe he thought you were asking the old question, "Do you smoke after sex?"
And trying to give the traditional answer, "I don't know, I never looked."
Maybe he's not sure whether he smoked in any of his past lives?
Maybe he thinks a Bong might not count.
Dr Grumpy, you need to take on a psychiatrist as your partner. You would keep them all SO busy.
I must share this VR/dragonism with you.
Voice recognition: He exhibits he masturbates. Should be: He exhibits masked face.
"How many cigarettes do you have to smoke before smoking becomes part of your identity and you turn into a 'smoker?' Does the number go up if they're low-tar, or down if they're unfiltered? And, if you look at the cigarette ads, you see that there are so many different kinds of smokers. Like, a Marlboro smoker is totally different from a Kool smoker. So it's a really complicated question."
When I was 23 I went in for strep throat & the Dr asked a lot of general health questions including, "Are you sexually active?" (!) I replied that I was a virgin. His response was, "How do you know?" Umm, because I've been in my body the entire time I've owned it?
Smokin' like smokin' hot, or smokin' like smokin' pot, smokin' like salmon or beef, or smokin' like hot to trot?
He must be smoking some seriously strong stuff... Or can't remember if be is precisely because its such seriously strong stuff... But he still may not be be smoking at all, you know what I'm saying? :P
Next time I'm asked this question I now want to screw around with my doctor about it. Beats the "you should quit" talk since obviously I know that. Then again, after reading your blog I now understand why doctors have to tell smokers that its bad from them and all because as obvious as that would seem, there are people out there, your patients here who probably have no idea.
PS- haaate the world verification! I'm probably younger than vast majority of your readers and its even hard on my eyes!
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