Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Dr. Grumpy's Gift Guide, 2012!

Yes, with the clock ticking down toward one of the most important birthdays in human history (Sir Isaac Newton, born December 25, 1642) it's time for...

(D-R-U-M-R-O-L-L))

Dr. Grumpy's annual holiday gift guide!

For those of you interested in fine merchandise featured in the past, please click here 


I'm going to start things off this year with a gift that solves a common argument in modern households:


Him: "We need a new alarm clock."

Her: "I need a new vibrator."


Well, now you can have BOTH! The Little Rooster is an alarm clock AND a vibrator!





Yes, ladies, with this remarkable product you just set the time you want to wake up, put it in your panties, and go to bed (I suppose guys can use it, too, but the sensation isn't the same).

It has 2 motors with 30 different power levels (of which 27 are "silent"- though I don't know if  that applies to the gadget, its user, or both) and features a "snorgasm" switch (I SWEAR!) for when you want to go back to sleep.

If you wake up at night wondering what time it is, no need to look at the nightstand: Now you can simply check your crotch!

The site notes it can also be used as a regular alarm clock "for when you simply have to wake up feeling grumpy." I'll let Mrs. Grumpy know.

It's available for $99 in both pink and white, has a "travel lock,"  and comes with a USB charging cable.

The website says "There is nothing else on Earth like Little Rooster." I'd have to agree with them. Though are some interesting alternatives.

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

OMG on both devices.

Packer said...

Yes, with the clock ticking down toward one of the most important birthdays in human history....me born 11/30/1950

Dr. Grumpy should I take social security at age 62 ? Hey is is just as legitimate as the other stuff your patients dump on you.

Lizzie LVT said...

This is one heck of a "secret santa" idea for my coworker who chronically sleeps through her alarm...

Li'l Azathoth said...

"Honey, are you going to keep pressing the snooze button all day?"

Anonymous said...

Why have a little rooster when you can have a big c...

Charles said...

Obamacare or the Obamarator - either way you get screwed!

Anonymous said...

Battery powered vibrators are useless. Not enough juice unless it plugs into the wall. Just sayin'.

Ms. Donna said...

Agree with Sir Isaac (tho my more religious friends will take issue) but we don’t really know when the Person in question was born.

So I will celebrate IsaaChrismaskumah!

The important thing is to wish each other well. (Gawd, that sounds like an offend-no-one-Hallmark-card!)

Turning to the gift in question. Stroke has left that useless for the intention Grumpy has proposed. But interesting concept. Go for it, those of you who might er, benefit.

BTW, Grumpy, that two-step "prove you are not a robot" thing is back. Annoying to have to discern the blurry house numbers and the "Captcha" (another word for "gotcha") nonsense word.

Anonymous said...

Cock-a-doodle-oooooooooooo.....

Kim Kasch said...

Never! I'd probably end of divorced after thirty years together 'cuz what would I need my husband for?

It's his job to set the alarm every night ;D

Anonymous said...

First thing in the morning, I want coffee. Does it do that too?

Nakeeshah said...

Does it come in dark brown?

Amanda said...

My husband bought me one of these for my birthday. It felt a little strange at first to wake up to, but now I wake up with a smile most days. And at the weekends, quite often, so does my husband :)

Anonymous said...

Why not re-engineer it and equip it to hold disposable blades so you can shave with it too or course you might want to toss the blade if you are using it for other purposes.

Tzipora said...

I think I want one. Unfortunately I never sleep well but doesn't mean I can't wake up well, right?

And I mean the alarm vibe. I've already been F*ed enough by the government lately. ;)

Anonymous said...

Read the design page on their website. Wide head so it stays stable against your public (sic) bone.

pharmacy chick said...

If you ever see one in real life...DONT TOUCH IT!

 
Locations of visitors to this page