Monday, March 26, 2012

Wild times at the hospital

Dr. Grumpy: "So I'm going to check an MRI and EEG, and I'll be back to see you after we have the results. Any questions?"

Mrs. Speed: "NO! But I have a complaint."

Dr. Grumpy: "What's up?"

Mrs. Speed: "That orderly, the teenage hospital lackey that you people had take me downstairs for my chest X-ray last night! You need to have her fired!"

Dr. Grumpy: "I'm sorry, was she rude to you!"

Mrs. Speed: "How should I know? She pushed my bed so fast I had to hang on for dear life! I was so scared I wasn't paying attention to what she said!"

Dr. Grumpy: "I..."

Mrs. Speed: "She's a hazard! I hate to think how she drives! She took corners at speeds so fast I was afraid the whole bed was going to fall over!"

Dr. Grumpy: "I'm sorry..."

Mrs. Speed: "You need to train them better! And you should also have speed limit signs in the halls, and educate people like her to follow them!"


Anonymous said...


nRT said...

almost as funny as your w/e rerun

bobbie said...

Did she also scream "Off with her head!"???

SSS said...

So you can't be too careful and slowly push them down the hallway, but you can't fling 'em around a corner, taking the bed up on two wheels? What do these people want?

Moose said...

When I have to be transported around the hospital in a bed, assuming I'm coherent and/or not screaming in pain, I always make vrooom vrooom and other engine noises.

Wait, I do that in wheelchairs, too.

Just Me said...

I had surgery once and got really anemic. Boy, the wheelchair ride was SO fast! Don't get me started about the elevators. I've never had anything like that happen before and it lasted only about a week. But, boy, I "drive' a lot slower and talk a lot quieter to my profoundly anemic patients.

Charles said...

Normally, I would have found this funny; BUT . . .

I was in the hospital several years ago with several broken bones, I completely understand where this patient is coming from.

Not only was the "ride" too fast; but those metal strips that run across the hall every where there is a floor joint or going through a doorway felt like gigantic speed bumps!

the golddigger said...

My husband's parents complained about the physicians and staff at the hospital where he had surgery. "Nobody used 'lie' and 'lay' correctly," they whined and whined and whined. (I have given you the short version of what they said.)

I wanted to ask, "And the shoulder? Are you healed? Are you alive? Are you no longer in shoulder pain? Then why the hell are you complaining about grammar?"

Mad Jack said...

The last time I got wheeled around by an orderly I respectfully asked if we could go a little faster. By the time we got to my room I was giving him enthusiastic words of encouragement.

Faster! Faster!

canoehead said...

Well, I usually tell my patients that they are responsible for the horn sounds. If we crash- not my fault. HONKA-HONKA!

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