Dr. Grumpy: "Hello?."
Mr. Pissmeoff: "Hi, um, Dr. Grumpy. You don't know me, but my kids also go to Wingnut Elementary, and I got your phone number out of the school directory."
Dr. Grumpy: "Uh-huh..."
Mr. Pissmeoff: "My wife has MS, and is in Local Hospital. She sees Dr. Darth, across the street from you."
Dr. Grumpy: "I don't cover for Dr. Darth, sir. You'll have to call his office."
Mr. Pissmeoff: "I know you don't. But she wants to go home, and he hasn't been in to see her yet today. Can you please come in and discharge her instead?"