Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Help wanted: New medical secretary

Dr. Grumpy: "Hey, where are the Peanut Butter M&M's?"

Mary: "Oh, we put all the M&M's in the tupperware container over there."

Dr. Grumpy: "But there were 2 bags, the PB's and the dark chocolate..."

Mary: "Yeah, we just put them all in it. It's over there."

Dr. Grumpy: "You mixed PB's with dark chocolate? That's sacrilege!"

Mary: "You're a doctor. The PB's are bigger. I'm sure you can tell the difference and pick them out."

Dr. Grumpy: "That's not the point! You shouldn't mix them! The crappy dark chocolate ones will contaminate the PB's just by being in contact with them."

Mary: "Tough. From looking at your butt I don't think you need either."

53 comments:

Moose said...

And did you then ask Mary why she's been staring at your butt?
:-)

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Yes, I did. It was a bad idea.

She said my butt is so big these days that NOT looking at it is physically impossible.

Karen W said...

Haha! You go Mary!

Anonymous said...

are you preparing her severance package? LOL!

laughingmom said...

Can't figure out why Mary would WANT to work for someone who considers dark chocolate "crappy!"

Lisa said...

That is hilarious! Thanks for the laugh!

PhDnotMD said...

And you really think you'll find another secretary willing to deal with what Mary puts up with all day? ;)

Grumpy, M.D. said...

We are a predominantly milk chocolate office.

Grumpy, M.D. said...

She's untouchable. She knows where the bodies are hidden.

vicki said...

it reminds me of my vet's office. he had a sign up at Christmas
"Chocolate is for your Vet Not Your Pet!"
needless to say he got lots of goodies. he says next year he's going to put
"Steak is for You Vet Not your Pet!"
i told him to dream on
and i gave him "mixed chocolates" as not to offend anyone in his office as i'm there a lot due to 5 pets.

kate said...

I'm still pretty sure that you should hire me AND Mary. We could do some serious damage.

Grumpy, M.D. said...

To what? The M&M's? You're welcome to the dark chocolate ones.

laughingmom said...

I'll take the dark chocolate - in my house it is the drug of choice - we have peanut butter, pretzel, and dark M&M's available 24/7 without a prescription!

Jon said...

Mary should get another raise for dealing with your chocolate idiosyncrasies.

Anonymous said...

"You got your chocolate in my peanut butter!" "You got your peanut butter in my chocolate!"

Not House said...

PB all the way. You fight the good fight Grumpy.

Without the PB, it's just a Smartie.

KYLady said...

Jeez – I gotta get out of my cave more often and explore the candy aisle. I thought they only came in plain or peanut...in various holiday seasonal colors. I fully support keeping candy segregated.

Anonymous said...

I agree that the two types of M&M is wrong, but for the opposite reason. Mixing peanut butter (yecchh) with chocolate (food of the gods) is a peculiarly American sacrilege. Dark chocolate is good for you.

Anonymous said...

Mary was too kind, she should have also mentioned about your belly :p

donna said...

A slam and a dunk for Mary!!

Mary 1
Dr. 'big butt' Grumpy 0

Only by todays count. BTW: Me thinks the problem isn't cross contamination of the dreaded dark
chocolate, but you having a 'man' moment and NOT wanting to pick them out!

Watercolor said...

PB M&M's rule!! They use crappy cheap dark chocolate for the M&M's. Ick. Now expensive good dark chocolate is yummy!

Mrs A said...

yuk PB with chocolate? we dont get that here, now vegemite, you all need to try that, it wont make your butt big!

lovinmyjob said...

Diet Pepsi and PB M&M's? I guess it makes sense...save the calories for what counts

Anonymous said...

Mary should get a bonus!

another size large said...

I like dark chocolate, but don't like the dark chocolate M&Ms. I can't stop eating the pretzel ones: it's as much about the texture as anything else.
Love the, "you're a doctor ..." line!

moomag said...

But Reeses Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups are so awsome. Since you want the m&m's segregated you can send the contaminated ones to me. I will take them out of their misery and yours.

23 Skidoo said...

As far as I'm concerned peanuts contaminate all chocolate...

Anonymous said...

Which cheek is peanut butter and which one is dark chocolate?

Jules said...

Can we call you Doctor Big Butt from now on?

Julie said...

Sounds like you're not using the Wii as much as you should be!

I'm guessing Mary was fired and re-hired again!

PS i'm with the pro-dark chocolate M&Ms lovers

Frantic Pharmacist said...

I know Mary is awesome, but you simply cannot mix different types of M&Ms in the same container. You have to be able to plunge your hand down into the dish and know exactly what you are going to come up with.
I think it's in the Constitution.

*** said...

Gasp! Dark chocolate is my favorite! Though I do like PB & chocolate too. I am surprisingly, not a fan of milk chocolate though.

Dr.G, Mary rocks btw.

Anonymous said...

Just turn the other cheek.

David Lee Roth said...

I suggest trashing the place.

EDNurseasauras said...

"Come to the Dark Side...we have peanut butter M&M's...."

terri c said...

I think you've gotta get up early in the morning to get ahead of Mary. Waaaayyyy early. Also you can send the dark chocolate my way. Wouldn't you want to brighten the days of patients in hospice and those who care for them? (Mainly the latter to be honest. Lots of the patients have dysphagia and you hate to see someone aspirate M&Ms.)

pharmacy chick said...

Mary needs a blog! Gotta love her! BTW pharmacy chick is a DARK Chocolate lover in all sense of the word...Dark Chocolate and peanut butter...heaven in a mouthful!

binkRN said...

PB MMs- yum all the way. I am ok with mixing, as long as they are of differing sizes, otherwise it is like some horrible prank- much like a box of chocolates without the flavor diagram.
I will say, though- dark chocolate mms- not so good. Dark chocolate dove or dk choc truffles- yummy!!

Also- nothing goes better with diet Coke than MMs- except for Ding Dongs.

Anonymous said...

I love chocolate, but have not tried either variety you are arguing about here. I just wanted you to know that I could send you my resume, as I have a terrible memory and would never remember where the bodies were. In fact, what bodies???

WV: offidzn (goodbye in another language) = Tootles, Mary! :o)

Anonymous said...

You don't need a new sec, you just need two containers!
(Thinking outside the box here)

Cliff

WV: zammenf - Men-zapper Mary?

Bette said...

I can really relate to the PB M&Ms addiction. I have 3 bags of the Valentine variety & 1 of the Easter eggs (which fell huge thru the bag) that are such pretty colors! I'm thinking of adding some to a batch of brownies.

Crazed Nitwit said...

I want to be Mary when I grow up!

Doris said...

I think you need to get a whole bunch of baggies and separate them not only by variety, but by color.

Write some arcane labels and leave them someplace Mary will see them.

When she asks, explain it's a doctor thing...

>:p

Anonymous said...

Learn from the moment and get a container with sections. Also the idea that people will be rummaging through makes my germ bell go off.

wv=Terai; plural of terrace?

Anonymous said...

ROTFLMAO!

jimbo26 said...

BAAADDD idea to cross words with Mary :-)

Anonymous said...

think twice when firing mary, she has terrible powers, remember?

Ben S said...

It's Easter season, all regular candy consumption should be switched to Cadbury Mini-eggs (best part of the holiday, according to this Jew).

Watch out for the dark variety though, am in much agreement with above commenter on quality vs price in this category.

Dani said...

I work with a dr also, and she feels the same way about PB cups. She gets absolutely FRANTIC if someone moves them let alone puts them in a MIX of chocolate.

Spring said...

I'm with Dr. Grumpy -- mixing dark chocolate with the peanut butter m & ms IS sacrilege!

Luckily I have control over the chocolate both at work and at home.

Kat's Kats said...

I'm on the 'no mixing' side. Candy may only be mixed if it is individually wrapped. Seriously. Just don't and say you didn't.

PS When we were dating my husband foolishly left a cd at my house. A mysterious woman called him up and told him it could only be ransomed by bring chocolate... darrrrrrk chocolate to a specific location. It was the second time in my life I got flowers from a bo-oy! (and yes, darrrrrk chocolate! There's a reason I married him!)

oceankisses said...

Mixing dark chocolate with ANYTHING is a bad idea.

The Mother said...

Dark chocolate is the life food of the gods. How dare you disparage it.

 
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