Sunday, February 27, 2011

Early Sunday morning rounds

I got dragged into the hospital to do a consult, and discovered this line in another doctor's dictation:

"I warned the patient that potential problems could include death, serious complications of death, and severe death."

41 comments:

Anonymous said...

Is severe death more serious than terminal death?

mostly cajun said...

Apparently that's some serious sh*t!

"Not only will it KILL you, but you'll hurt real bad the whole time you're dying."

MC

SuFu said...

ebola therapy for the common cold?

Anonymous said...

So, what I'm getting from this, I think, is that it might kill you. Not that I'm a professional in the matter or anything.

DixieLaurel said...

Severe death really sucks.

rnraquel said...

That is hilarious.

Lars said...

You always need a lot of antibiotics to counter severe death.

Li'l Azathoth said...

"But if you can hold out till spring, they're supposed to be coming out with a new version of death that's going to be way deadlier than anything you can get today."

Anonymous said...

"But he decided to be born anyway."

Anonymous said...

"I'm telling you, if there's anything more fun than a 6-year-old who's having his tonsils out, I don't know what it is."

Anonymous said...

So the patient could die???????

Just making sure I understand what could happen. I have added an addendum to me will making sure that only artisan soil is used for burial.

gloria p said...

The dictation says it all but is there anyone who DOESN'T face those potential problems at least once in their lives?

RehabNurse said...

Doc:

On notes like that, I always look to see what time they were written, especially if electronic.

I got one consult I had to read for a doc and I nearly died laughing. When I looked at the time, it was written in the early AM, so I wondered if it counted as "sleep charting".

BTW Doc called other doc and straightened ours out, which included a redacted note.

Kat's Kats said...

Well you know that serious complications of death lead to severe death whereas simple serious complications merely lead to death.

Watercolor said...

Bwahahahaaaa!!! I no want the severe death please.

Anonymous said...

1041- perfect. you made my day.

ERP said...

Signed "Dr Killpatient"

MDB said...

What about a little death?

oceankisses said...

So this patient will not only be "merely dead", but they will be "most sincerely dead". That's what I'm talking about...

Penelope said...

Wow...he really takes that whole "informed consent" thing seriously!

Not House said...

Ya, but the generic version of death gives you pretty much the same effect, at a fraction of the cost.

Eileen said...

Is acute or chronic death worse?

PS - blogger refuses to allow me to post anywhere with my google account. Has anyone else had the same problem?

Ben S said...

So was it real or Dragonism?

Anonymous said...

"Patient decided not to get the pedicure after all."

Lynda Halliger-Otvos said...

Eileen, I too have been unable to comment on Blogger for some time. Don’t understand why. had no problems up til a few weeks ago.

?~ ! ~ ?

Anonymous said...

"Actually, the procedure would have been safe and effective, but some days you're just not in the mood, you know?"

Ashley said...

I can take death. I can handle severe death.

But this entire 'serious complications of death' that I couldn't take! Its either, long and drawn out painful mess or that neither heaven, nor hell will take you...

pharmacy chick said...

remind me not to be HIS patient ok?

Anonymous said...

"Patient decided to give me my co-pay after all."

terri c said...

Good gravy. And what might the "complications," let alone the "severe complications," of death be?

John Gray said...

I am an over cynical nurse working just one day on intensive care! ( and full time on my allotment and field)

greatblog!

Anonymous said...

how is severe death worse than mild death? are the non-serious complications funny?

Da Blog said...

Does this doctor know Miracle Max?

"Look who knows so much! It just so happens your friend is only mostly dead."

Anonymous said...

death with serious complications = Zombie Apocalypse i.e you still have to go to work and pay taxes

Anonymous said...

Okay, obviously that's extreme. There are plenty of clueless people out there though so I can (and do) identify with the "CYA" mentality of document, document, document so when Mr. Stupid develops serious complications and/or dies, the family can't say "Dr. DamnGoodbutCynical told us this xxx (likely elective) procedure would go smoothly no matter what".

Anonymous said...

What are serious complications of death? Putrefaction? Being autopsied? Turning into adipocere? Being exhumed after turning into adipocere, and having photos of your 'soap mummy' corpses ending up on the Internet? Inquiring minds want to know...

Anonymous said...

"...but the patient decided to be rude to the Head Nurse anyway."

The Mother said...

Yeah, but did he warn him that he could die?

Anonymous said...

The first thing I noticed is it excludes mild death, where one just BARELY dies.

dr_dredd said...

"And then he went off to go storm the castle."

Anonymous said...

Did this doctor then prescribe cake?

 
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