Friday, January 29, 2010

Mystery solved

Last night I was at a dinner meeting for a research company. These things are always held at some swanky overpriced steakhouse.

Dr. Duffel is a local neurologist who drags around the biggest damn purse in the world. It's HUGE, and goes everywhere with her. For years many of us have wondered what's in it: a complete set of every neurology journal ever written? Jimmy Hoffa? the Bermuda Triangle?

So last night she came in late to the dinner, and sat down next to me. She put el monstro humungo purse on the floor next to me, so I had to move over a bit.

The meeting dragged on. One slide after another. The occasional cell phone ringing. The speaker droning. Food courses.

At some point I wandered out to stretch and empty myself of biologically-filtered Diet Coke. When I came back and sat down I stepped in a puddle on the floor. I figured someone must have spilled water or something while I was out of the room, and refocused my attention on the speaker.

A minute later a waitress came by to refill my Diet Coke, and stumbled over the giant purse.

And the purse started barking.

The waitress screamed and leaped back, dropping the pitcher on the purse, which only got it snarling at her.

Dr. Duffel jumped up, grabbed her cell phone (which hadn't rung), mumbled "I have to answer this outside" and dragged her growling purse out of the room. I'm pretty sure it wasn't her ringtone.

She never came back.

I rinsed off my shoes when I got home.

30 comments:

Mop said...

Awww....how lucky the doggie is for getting to go everywhere.

The Melancholy Mommy said...

I bet she has one of those crazy doggy strollers too. Kudos to the dog for staying quiet that long, she must have him really well trained.

TexasHeather said...

Ah, she should move to Brazil, where this is normal and they have special doggie carriers with which to better accomplish this crazy stuff. She'd fit right in -- dogs at the mall, dogs at the airport, dogs in the grocery store -- Dr. Duffel would love it.

And her poochy would probably enjoy the breath of fresh air.

I've a suspicion you wouldn't mind her monstrous, puddle-producing bag being safely out of reach of your shoes, either.

Anonymous said...

I know a doctor that used to let her dog in the office...would come in the exam room with her and everything! I don't think I would be going back personally.... Maybe Dr. Duffel's pooch is a budding neurologist? Or maybe in training to be a service dog...able to predict seizure activity?? Or just likes to piss at the schmoozy restaurants :)

Old MD Girl said...

That is FREAKING HYSTERICAL. I do wish I could bring my dog to school with me, but I think smuggling her in a duffel bag might be going a bit too far.

Incidentally, all the peds neuro fellows in my department drag around wheelie-bags to keep all their paraphernalia in. It's very dorky, but I have to say the idea has some appeal.

Queen of Crafts, Current Events, and Such. said...

This weird connection sounds familiar......(embarrassed)I have a dog stroller....:O

Grumpy, M.D. said...

OldMDGirl- I just use a shoulder bag, same one I used to drag books and pens around medical school with.

Theresa said...

I took my puppy to Vegas once. I know. I know. Dumb, right? Anyway I was afraid to leave him in the hotel room so I carried him around Vegas in a duffel. I have to say though, I never took my dog to an eating establishment. It was all fast food drive-through.

Anonymous said...

Hilarious! The best part is that she pretended to answer the phone as an excuse to leave the room. What are people thinking?!?!

Outrider said...

Hah! My guess was correct!

webhill said...

I have a client who brings her Chihuahua to my office in a baby stroller. She complains that the dog doesn't walk well on a leash, and is overweight. Hello, the dog has spent most of its life being pushed around in a stroller... SIGH.

In somewhat related news, your neuron colleague is not the only MD out there with way too much of a bond to her canine friend. I have a friend who has informed me that she really needs to find a new GYN, because it always unnerves her when her doctor's POODLE is watching her get a pelvic exam. WTF??

atcsandra said...

My dentist brings his little terrier to the office. Apparently many of the patients request the dog as he makes them feel calmer.

LBParker said...

Sounds like Dr. Duffel needs to spend some time with a psychiatrist...

That's just...creepy.

Lilorfnannie said...

You have abundant evidence there for your claim that neurologists are mostly all nutjobs- present company excluded, I'm sure!

Anonymous said...

Having worked in restaurants for 10 years...I hate it when people try to bring in non-service animals. In most states it is against health code, and it's disgusting. Just look at the above story - the dog peed on the floor! People throw a fit when you tell them no though. They view their dog as their "baby," well perhaps they should hire a baby/doggy sitter...

KateA said...

What drives me nuts are the people that make the fake vests for their dogs, asserting that they are real therapy dogs. Most are not. Especially if you see someone being led by a brace of chihuahuas in service vests. A single chihuahua as a seizure or glucose monitor, but not a group.

On the other hand, I used to bring my crazy dalmatian with me to work at the old emergency clinic. He would wait for me at the door of each room I went into see patients. He would follow me around like I was the sun and he as a planet. It made people trust me more as a vet when they saw how much my dog loved me and how much I loved my dog by letting him come to work with me.

thegooddrlaura said...

The most awful part of the story is: "For years many of us have wondered what's in it: a complete set of every neurology journal ever written?" She's been carrying this poor animal around concealed in a zipped up purse for YEARS? Isn't that animal cruelty?

pAula said...

Well, ya know, when it comes down to it...just how many (*ahem*) normal neurologists are there in the world anyway? Personally I haven't met one, I mean other than Grumpy on coke, and that's just been here, so who knows for sure?

Grumpy, M.D. said...

I don't know ANY normal neurologists.

And neither do Annie, Mary, and Mrs. Grumpy.

Anonymous said...

Hilarious gas all around. Is that where the prime rib, rare, please used to go? Simply, too funny.

student dr. blaze said...

lmao! that's hysterical!!!

funny thing is, one year when i went home for the holidays, i took my cat with me because i couldn't find anyone to pet-sit. i was in the airport, buying some water before the flight, when my cat meowed (she was in an appropriate cat carrier, NOT a purse). the second time she meowed in protest, the guy behind me in line said "HEY, that's a CAT!" uuummm, yes... "I thought it was your ringtone!" *facepalm* what kind of world do we live in when people think every noise emanates from a phone?!

RSDS said...

What did Cooper, Snowball, and Blackdog have to say about this incident?

This weekend we are dogsitting a friends black lab mix, while they are out of town.


wv = norbso (A new product for dealing with the puddle produced by the purse?)

The Redheaded Pharmacist said...

Next time, if you sit next to her, drop a piece of steak into the purse when she isn't looking and see what happens, lol. That thing might start jumping up out of it after more!

TRP

Anonymous said...

I take my dog with me a lot of places, but not places where food is involved unless I'm sitting on the patio and they allow it. I love that in Europe, they take their dogs everywhere, and I do mean EVERYWHERE, unless there is a sign posted instructed otherwise. But their dogs are better trained than most American children and not much more unsanitary (sorry, but I've seen a lot of ill mannered children with runny noses and crusty faces and hands, and I'm sure no one here has children resembling that description).

Anonymous said...

@thegooddrlaura: Not necessarily - some dogs love confined spaces, terriers especially.

Word verification: boings! The sounds a small terrier makes when it escapes from a purse and bounces off the walls and furniture.

Hopalong Ginsberg

Lassie said...

Just what is up with this "dog in a bag" crap? Dogs don't belong in bags, they belong in backyards or parks where they run run around and play.

"Dog in a bag," my ass!

Roxie said...

Oh goodness. Someone who I can only assume is Dr. Duffle's sister attended a dance show at the theater I work at, with the dog in her purse. And argued passionately (to the point that we were dialing the police when she finally left) when the head usher told her it was illegal to have the dog in the theater, and to please leave.


Word verification- funion!

Anonymous said...

I have to see a neurologist on friday, between hearing about this lady and Big Neurology Inc. I am scared =l

Vegancat said...

Toy dogs had been breed also as an anti theft safety feature for ...yes..purses of rich ladies.

She is just following a tradition i think..if she is royal.(or wants to be royal)

Anonymous said...

chihuahua power. How much piddle can a chihuahua piddle?
Anyway Poor her! How needy she must be to cart her dog around with her.

 
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