Ms. Narc: "Yeah, I'm a patient of Dr. Notoncall. He has me on Vicodin, and I'm all out"
Dr. Grumpy: "I'm sorry, I don't call in controlled drugs after hours"
Ms. Narc: "But I'm hurting!"
Dr. Grumpy: "You'll have to call his office on Monday, or go to urgent care or ER if your pain is that bad."
Ms. Narc: "But I can't make it until then! I hurt all over!"
Dr. Grumpy: "I can't call in these pills for you. Sorry"
Ms. Narc: "Ummmm... But I don't need pills! Yesterday I had one of those, uh, gastric bypass surgeries, like the fat guy on TV once did, so I need liquid Vicodin. So it's not a pill. You can call that in, right?"
Dr. Grumpy: "Good night" (hangs up).