I follow the advice of The Bible - no mirrors, clocks, or music out there.
Anyway, I'm rambling about this because last week I received an email from Dr. Stingray, who says he's an internist in Florida, commenting on office decor issues:
"Years ago I subleased from a neurologist, Dr. Sousaphone. He only saw Alzheimer's patients, and believed in having an office that would rival any art museum.
"One day, for whatever reason, he decided to install a fountain in the lobby. This wasn't some little desktop thing, but a fairly large contraption of copper and stone. He thought its gentle sounds would relax his demented patients.
"Unfortunately, it was more relaxing then he'd anticipated. 2 days after it's debut an elderly, demented man (to his wife's horror) walked over to it, unzipped, and drained his bladder into the relaxing waters. Another disinhibited gentleman thought this was a good idea and promptly joined him.
"This performance stunned Dr. Sousaphone (not to mention my waiting patients) who hadn't anticipated the fountain's effect on demented males with enlarged prostates. After they cleaned the fountain he had a sign installed that said "Please do not urinate in the fountain. It is for decoration only" (Dr. Grumpy comments: Wow! If you saw that sign in your doctor's lobby, what would you think?).
"The effectiveness of the sign was matched only by his patients' fading memories, and after 3 weeks Dr. Sousaphone's staff got sick of cleaning the fountain and made him remove it."