How ya doin'?

"It's been a busy year. I had to have all kind of treatments from the eye doctor. A few months ago I had this weird feeling in my eye, and had my friend Jan look at it. She's a librarian at the kids school, so I figured she reads all kinds of stuff. She thought maybe I had a fungus in my eye, and I'd once heard of a guy that happened to on the news, so it seemed like I should treat it. My oldest boy is on the high school football team - they were in the state playoffs last year if you remember - and is always having jock itch with burning and red stuff in his crotch. He has these tubes of fungus cream for it in his bathroom, so I rubbed it in my eye for a few days, but that only made things worse. So I went to the eye doctor and he said the cream wasn't supposed to go in my eye because it damaged something and I had to have all kinds of treatments for it. It really ticked me off because you'd think Jan should know better."