Sunday, August 23, 2026

Crime and Punishment 1

So recently I let an irresponsible adult  treasured child of mine borrow my car, and they got a speeding ticket.

This alone wouldn't have been a big deal, but the police officer mistakenly entered the car's registration info on the citation form. So the citation was in my name, not the (allegedly) adult person who was driving it.

To get it dismissed, I had to go to Grumpyville City minor offenses court with proof that I was in my office at the time, dragging (reluctantly on their part) the person who'd been behind the wheel.

Misdemeanor court, at least in Grumpyville, is one of the best, yet unheard of, sources of entertainment. The cases are in front of the judge, each lasting 2-3 minutes. For the price of the parking garage it's like watching a bunch of movie shorts in rapid fire, one after the other, separated by the judge saying "NEXT!"

Two cases really stood out. Here's one:

Judge Judy: "Okay, there are 4 charges against you. I'll read them off, and you'll plead either guilty or not guilty after each. If you plead guilty your case will be moved on for sentencing at a later date, if you plead not guilty it will be referred to the city attorney's office to schedule a hearing on the charges. Do you understand me?"

Ms. Klepto: "Yes."

Judge Judy: "Charge one: July 21, 2026, shoplifting from the Grumpyville Grand Resort Gift Shop." 

Ms. Klepto: "Not guilty."

Judge Judy: "Charge two: July 22, 2026, shoplifting from the Grumpyville Grand Resort Gift Shop." 

Ms. Klepto: "Not guilty."

Judge Judy: "Charge three: July 23, 2026, shoplifting from the Grumpyville Grand Resort Gift Shop." 

Ms. Klepto: "Not guilty."

Judge Judy: "Charge four: July 24, 2026, trespassing at the Grumpyville Grand Resort after being banned from the premises for shoplifting."

Ms. Klepto: "Not guilty."

 

 

 

Sunday, August 9, 2026

Driving in circles

Mr. Epazil: "Hello?" 

Mary: "Hi, Don. This is Mary, at Dr. Grumpy's office. I'm just calling to confirm your appointment for 8:30 tomorrow morning." 

Mr. Epazil: "Actually I'm glad you called. I need to make an appointment to see Dr. Grumpy."

Mary: "You have an appointment for tomorrow morning. Will that work for you?"

Mr. Epazil: "It should... Actually, I may need to reschedule. It looks like I already have an appointment for 8:30 tomorrow, with my neurologist."

Mary: "That's Dr. Grumpy, so you're good."

Mr. Epazil: "Where are you calling from, anyway?"

Mary: "Dr. Grumpy's office."

Mr. Epazil: "What kind of doctor is he?"

Mary: "Dr. Grumpy is a neurologist."

Mr. Epazil: "Okay... That sounds like a good idea. Can I make an appointment to see him?  

 

 
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