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Thursday, February 25, 2010
Department of Contradiction
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Looking through some hospital notes today, and came across this:
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A Blog detailing the insanity of my medical practice and the stupidity of everyday life.
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Welcome to my whining!
This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients, or my everyday life, or anything else may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate. I could be making all this up. I may not even be a doctor. The only true statement on here is that I probably drink more Diet Coke than you do. A lot more.
Singing Foo!
Singing Foo!
Twitter fans- you can follow me @docgrumpy
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
Blog Archive
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2010
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February
(72)
- Sunday Reruns
- Saturday hot tub reading
- Dear GlaxoSmithKline Pharmaceuticals,
- Anticipation
- Thursday night, 8:05 p.m.
- Weather Report
- Attention Boy Scouts of America
- Department of Contradiction
- Mary's Desk, February 24, 2010
- Let me think about this one...
- Patient testimonials I don't want
- Is she a person? A tree? Both?
- More drug company toys
- Skool Nerse Time
- Attention patients!
- Sunday evening, 7:05 p.m.
- Store update
- Pharmacy quiz
- Saturday rounds
- My Readers Write
- Life During Wartime
- Friday Afternoon Whatever
- The other side of the sample case
- I can fix that!
- Why I'm not good enough to work at Mayo
- Thank you all
- Corporate Downsizing WTF?
- Dear Medicare Patients,
- Lunch with a drug rep
- Monday night, 8:15 p.m.
- Department of Redundancy Department
- Counting, the lost art
- Paging Sue, in Michigan
- Dear ICU Nurses,
- Today's Quiz
- Sunday Morning Rounds
- Deja vu all over again
- On call and sick
- Dear Middle-of-Nowhere Medical Center
- But can you see Russia from the ship?
- How NOT to get in to see Dr. Grumpy
- Patient quote of the day
- Thank you for coming today
- Things that make me grumpy
- Strange Compliments (I think)
- Annie's Desk, February 10, 2010
- Skool Nerse Time
- Seizurebowl
- Heard in passing
- 2 tomatoes, pickles, hamburger buns, lettuce, and ...
- Office buffet, part 2
- Monday morning, 12:45 a.m.
- Sunday, 1:18 p.m.
- May I take your order?
- My readers write
- Food ads you don't see everyday
- Quotable patients
- These are not negotiations
- Hey, who doesn't?
- Thank heavens!
- Attention patients!
- Beats my hot tub articles
- Um, I, uh, my answer is...
- February 3, 1959
- Mary's Desk, February 2, 2010
- Reasons to avoid cheap bras
- And the award for best actress in a hospital gown ...
- Vocabulary homework
- Sometimes it's fun
- A study of ONE FREAKING PATIENT!
- More Allergies
- How does pointless research get published?
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February
(72)
15 comments:
Wow.....Um....Just Wow.....I wish I could say that I've never seen something like that before. But, of course, I would be lying. Amazing contradiction.
LOL..."yeah, I'm allergic to allergy medication"...that's a smile that's hard to suppress! Funny stuff..thanks.
Sounds like one of my dictations while I'm reading throught the 75 sheets of old records and notes: medications "none"... ah, ok, hmmmm, ah, Fukitol, Gorillacillin, two white pills, and one oval pink one.
I remember a patient chart that said:
Surgical History: Negative, Appendectomy, TAH.
Duhr. Proofread your notes!
Easier to keep dictating than push the rewind button.
I bet it means that there are no meds prescribed for specific times, every day, year-round; but she takes two allergy meds whenever she decides she needs them.
I've been in the position of having to figure out what meds to give someone (or to take myself) on the basis of statements like that before.
I see this stuff all the time in our EMR. Someone has created templates with the most common stuff, I think, and no one READS that, just appends, so you get "well appearing cachectic chronically ill appearing male..." And for successive progress notes from the same provider group you get the ENTIRE FREAKING previous note with maybe 5 or 10 new words which you won't notice unless you read every.single.word!!! And they say the EMR is less error prone...
Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes.
-Walt Whitman, Song of Myself
prescribed- 0 otc-2
My all time favorite dictation error was surgical history: Vaginal hysterectomy with excision of wisdom teeth.
I bet her husband was happy they got those outta there. And those are hellaciously impacted wisdom teeth.
There is a high-quality oil filter that is marketed for cars, but used by lots of motorcyclists. Recently, the manufacturer put a statement on its web site saying that its mediocre-quality filter marketed for motorcycles was the only one that should be used for motorcycles, as the high-quality filter was designed for vehicles, not motorcycles.
At one time in my life, I worked in a medical office. I saw stuff like this ALL TIME in files. It was in Alabama, which could explain a lot.
Totally not on the subject, but working in that office is where I came across the surname Dick. I saw it, and I starting laughing. I couldn't stop. I was 21 at the time, and yet, I felt like I hadn't left grade school. Someone has a last name that is Dick. hehehehehe
Ha, what a way to market mediocre-quality filters. It's a tactic that's probably been used before!
Transcriptionist should have caught that. Unless, of course, told to transcribe "verbatim, no matter what." You get what you wish for, I guess!
Awww we all know that allergy medicines aren't REAL medicines.... *insert rolling of eyes here*
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