Friday, December 9, 2016

Gift guide

Life is full of tough decisions, especially when you have $85 to blow. What should you spend it on?

Like most people, you're probably thinking "if only there was a decent rock in a leather half-pouch I can get for only $85, but I can't find one."

Fortunately, Nordstrom has heard your cries, and is now selling exactly that: a solid rock, found somewhere in the Los Angeles area, and lovingly sewn into a leather case.

 
"You're shitting me, right?"

Order it here. The possibilities are endless! You (or the lucky recipient) can use this $85-rock-in-a-half-leather-case as a paperweight, doorstop, or artistic commentary on sado-masochism's relationship to classical philosophy's effects on the fabric of human relationships.

And, best of all, when someone asks "What did you get for Christmakuh?" You can say...





14 comments:

Packer said...

35 years ago when we married, my wife and I said that if we ever had $100.00 to just blow we would go to Atlantic City and hit a casino. Tuition, mortgages, braces, hot water heaters, brake jobs , etc and we have never set foot in Atlantic City.

I am buying that freaking rock

tbunni said...

I don't think I can support the 'lovingly stitched' as it was obviously done on a machine. I mean, for $85.00 I expect hand stitching - it is more spiritual and meaningful and connects us further with the land and whatever poor animal died to give us that leather...

Mage said...

They have baby rocks too. LOL

bobbie said...

Alas & alack... they are all sold out. And I had $85 just burning a hole in my pocket!

Love your tweet to I. D. ~ I had noticed the birthday in our paper this AM.

Anonymous said...

So, is it an artisan rock?

Kassy said...

Forget the rock. How about the $1200 cloud(2x3x3.5in and weighs 2lbs made of brass I think)!?!??!!!
It's on the same page.

Yoko Drāno said...


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRwrg0db_zY

Pillboy said...

Everyone here is too young to remember the "Pet Rock" from the '70's? Nothing is original anymore.

Anonymous said...

Awesome! I want one, I need one! In fact I need five in a hand-crafted bandolier to go with my sling, to take down a philistine a-hole or two...

Anonymous said...

Not so young, I do recall the 'pet rock' with googly eyes I was given while a patient in the hospital lovingly painted green by kids in my high school youth group (Honor Society).

Moose said...

I use "I got a rock" for everything.

"I have a cold." "I have bad allergies." "I got a rock."

"I brought some Pepsi." "I'll get some Coke." "I got a rock."

"I've got this box. You grab the bag. Moose, what do you have?" "I got a rock."

It's an all-purpose answer. Charlie Brown would approve!

Moose said...

Also, I cannot believe you didn't bring up the Pet Rock, which is now back! http://www.petrock.com/ (Though their website is misconfigured...)

Anonymous said...

I can think of a lot of people who desperately need to obtain some stones in skin pouches.

Anonymous said...

Or you can just buy a cheap knockoff on Canal Street.

 
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