Friday, December 2, 2016

Dr. Grumpy's gift guide

Nikolaos of Myra was born in 270 A.D. in the area now called Turkey.

And today I suspect a lot of seismic activity in the middle east is caused by him spinning rapidly in his grave. Because this is the man who, over roughly 1500 years, became Santa Claus in Western culture, appearing in shopping malls, used car lots, TV specials, Viagra commercials, movies, condom ads, and heaven knows what else.

I think Nikolaos would be pretty horrified by the whole spectacle of what he's become.

Even more horrifying, at least to me, are the Santa-themed business suits that are promoted as things you can wear to important meetings this time of year. I suppose this is a measure of job security. The only men likely to wear these outfits are the ones who know they can't be fired and those who want to be.

What am I talking about? Not the generic St. Nick suit that abounds on fat bearded guys working in department stores this time of year, but these hideous ensembles of jacket, slacks, and a tie:




"Hey, ladies, want to check out my sack?"


"The sneakers are for running, since this outfit is a chick magnet."


These are not, I must stress, pajamas. For PJ's they might be sort of cute. But no, someone designed and is selling them as standard business attire for this time of year.

So here's a perfect gift for the guy who... (let me get back to you on that). 


19 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sorry,but I'm digging #2.

Heidi said...

Looks like they're made out of Christmas wrapping paper.

alison said...

I was in vegas last year at this time and saw quite a few fellow hotel guests wearing these

Stacey Gordon said...

Many of the nurses and allied health professionals wear "xmas themed" scrubs this time of year... but yea... a "real suit", nah...

Packer said...

Now we don our gay apparel ?

Anonymous said...

I'll take what's IN suit number 2 . . .

Anonymous said...

This is a perfect gift for a man who runs around with a time machine that looks like a phone booth and thinks wearing a fez and bowtie make him cool.

Jono said...

Maybe it's retaliation for the alleged "war on Christmas".

kjax said...

This summer, while waiting for a plane in Denver, a man in a Pac Man suit was waiting in line for a different plane. His entire suit was the Pac Man game pattern with blue dots, ghosts and Pac Man chomping after them. Jacket, pants and tie. Pac Man. Entire suit.

bobbie said...

Eeeeuuuuu...

Anonymous said...

"Hey, ladies, want to check out my sack?" bahahahahahaha

Anonymous said...

Haha we have a daytime tv show in the UK where some poor soul is having to wear a different Xmas themed suit every day to give us gift/food/game/escape tips and I feel so bad for him. But not so much I don't laugh every time

Stacey Gordon said...

Packer!!!!!! You won the internet today!

Anonymous said...

It's the new Batman villain.

Jessie said...

My husband is a high school math teacher. They have casual Fridays so he wears a variety of geeky holiday sweaters throughout November.

If you work in a place that is formal enough to wear a suit you won't get away with these. IF you work where you can get away with goofy holiday attire you don't need a suit.

Pam said...

Perfect for Pajama Boy

Shash said...

Whoo boy, hold me back from chasing these men. Not.

clairesmum said...

My nephew works in an alternative high school and is actually fairly good looking with a good sense of style...and is comfortable looking silly when it helps connect with the emotionally challenged teens.....and sometimes is a gateway to talking about looking foolish in public and coping with it. He's a kid who was painfully shy when he was a teenager, so he can connect with these students. And his family is proud of him...tho the suits ARE rather goofy!!

Engeltina Knickerbocker said...

Those two shades are like fingernails on chalkboard. Hey Wait There are no chalkboard. It is like wearing already-licked striped Christmas ribbon candy.

 
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