Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Sandbox

Every few years my hospital requires its staff, including doctors, to take "sensitivity training." This is to make us learn from a 20-minute computer-generated quiz anything that we didn't learn while growing up.

So, to show you how valuable this is, I thought I'd post examples of the questions we get:







The rest of the questions are similarly obvious shit, to ensure no one fails. But, in case you do, you're allowed to re-take it as many times as needed. This way, if someone snaps and assaults a co-worker, the hospital can say "Hey, it's not our fault, they passed a test."

And people wonder why health care costs are so high. This (and 7 figure CEO bonuses) are some of the crap that your insurance premiums are going towards.

So there you go, people. This is how your nurses and doctors learn to behave. I hope you feel more confident in us now.

22 comments:

Anonymous said...

At one place I worked, according to our corporate sexual harassment policy the correct answer to Question 10 was "All of the above."

Tony said...

Hehehe. I'm an EMT from Pennsylvania, and we recently allowed BLS providers to administer naloxone in the field. This is a major scope of practice change, and naloxone is a drug many people don't understand. So, of course, we're trained in it.

And by "trained", I mean we are given two .pdf documents to read (we can skip if we want), and then we're given a 15 question test. If you get any wrong, it gives you the correct answer. You can then try again with the exact same test! That it just gave you every answer to!

By consequence, I wouldn't trust a single BLS provider in PA with naloxone.

Officer Cynical said...

People snap because, after completing #10 of 10 questions, they're then asked #11 of 19.

Nurse Lilly said...

Ted is also guilty of discrimination. If he's offering Laura a raise in return for sex, he should make the same offer to all others in the office, regardless of age, race, sex, religion, sexual orientation, economic status, appearance, or disabilities.

Packer said...

Ok,you think that it is "obvious shit" and that is to your credit, it means you are conscious of impacts that your behavior has on others. View the latest Joe Biden hair sniffing incident and ask yourself: If my wife's boss did that would I or she be offended ? Yesterday, I spent an hour convincing a man that it is not proper to punch out his wife--it was not obvious to him before speaking with me. So what is obvious to one is completely oblivious to another----thus the sensitivity courses for brain dead people. Sorry, Sensitive Deficient people. We have come along way in understanding that racial, ethnic,orientation comments and unwanted sexual advances are no longer welcomed in the workplace. I had a woman who worked for me, who was harassed by a higher up, I protected her job for 4 years and bore the brunt of his ire, for he wanted her fired, she the single mom came to me when she left and told me how much my support meant to her. I went to Law School shortly after and left corporate life behind. I have always viewed these things are trying to teach assholes to be just a little less so. Some never make the change.

Anonymous said...

What if Ted tells Laura that he'll get her a raise if she has sex with someone else while he watches?

Anonymous said...

But what if the fellow employee's frustration and tension are from not getting laid? How do you help resolve the problem?

Anonymous said...

What if Susan's religion prohibits her from drinking coffee, and Jerry knows this?

Anonymous said...

Exactly how far outside the workplace do the two people in the overt romantic relationship have to be? Like, would it be okay for them to screw in a car in the company parking lot, or would they have to drive it over the property line first? What if they're technically off company property, but everyone can see them from their office windows?

Anonymous said...

What if Tricia likes to make Lee smile because she has a tooth fetish?

uppereast74 said...

Material like this and other inane
muck permeated my nursing school courses. The other favorite topic was cultural sensitivity. We graduated ill prepared in basic nursing skills,all ready
for the scores of non existent entry level nursing jobs. If I ever get a job in a hospital rest assured Dr. G that I will respect your cultural needs as a yack herder.

danielle said...

LOL.....I just took this same test last night!!!!!

clairesmum said...

Human services is no better. The HR director who ensured that everyone attended the mandatory workplace behavior video and her readaloud of all the pages in the personnel manual related to acceptable behavior, is the same one who opened the next all-staff meeting by saying "Today we are going to start with some public shaming..."

Anonymous said...

But isn't it generally known that "coffee" is a euphemism for "sex?" They even did a "Seinfeld" episode about it.

Anonymous said...

Psst. I know the answer to Question 11 of 19. Will you give me 'something' if I let you in on it? Over some coffee, and a doughnut or two, if you know what I mean? Wink, Wink. (Big toothy grin)

Anonymous said...

This is the same sad shit that they give at my hospital. Same questions, different years, unlimited tests.

It's pathetic how hospitals compensate for employees that are tools. Yes, I've worked with some. Right after they took this test.

Anonymous said...

My hospital's training taught me that it's sexual harassment for a (short) woman to ask a (tall) man to get something she can't reach off a high shelf.

Anonymous said...

I wanna take that test! Can you send me the URL, Doctor Grumpy? Your hospital management is SO COOL!

cliffintokyo said...

People who design quizzes and questionnaires are smarter than the people who answer them, right? Right? RIGHT?
Then why do they only need a high school dropout diploma?

cliffintokyo said...

Bonus question:
What do you call it if a short old man asks a tall young woman in a miniskirt to get something he can't reach off a high shelf?
(The answer is not: the best try-on of the year!)

Library-Gryffon said...

Other than the paycheck, I don't miss working as the hospital librarian one bit.

I am currently back at school to become an accountant. At least it looks like there will be jobs in that field, and if I decide to run my own solo office, I shouldn't have to worry about training my non-existant staff on how best to sexually harass each other.

Anonymous said...

question 11 is hard. going home after a though morning doesn't seem too bad.

 
Locations of visitors to this page