Monday, November 24, 2014

Sunday morning, 3:48 a.m.

Dr. Grumpy: "This is Dr. Grumpy, returning a page."

Mrs. Wokemeup: "Hi, I'm a patient of Dr. Cortex. He has me on Ataxizon 500mg twice a day. Anyway, for the last week I've had a lot of balance problems. He did labs on Thursday, and said my Ataxizon level was way too high."

Dr. Grumpy: "Okay."

Mrs. Wokemeup: "So he told me to lower the dose to 400mg twice a day. But my balance is still terrible, and I don't know what to do."

Dr. Grumpy: "So you're on 400mg twice a day of Ataxizon right now?"

Mrs. Wokemeup: "No, I take 500mg twice a day."

Dr. Grumpy: "Wait... I thought you said Dr. Cortex told you to decrease the dose because it was affecting your balance?"

Mrs. Wokemeup: "He did. But I wasn't sure if I should. I thought I'd see what someone else thought."


Anonymous said...

"Are you taking any other medications with the Ataxizon? Like, maybe, Inapproprion or Rudefex?"

Anonymous said...

What would happen if she doubled it. Would it prevent her from getting to the phone.

Anonymous said...

"And my medium isn't answering her phone right now."

Anonymous said...

And, this is what happens when she 'stood' in bed instead of 'staying in bed'. It's those rocking sensations on the box springs that'll get you every time. If I were you, I'd have both 'stood' in bed and put the phone on voicemail. That's my advice, and I'm 'standing' by it.

Anonymous said...

Pfft, Dr. Cortex is a hack. A friend was once having a problem that the doctor thought may be a side effect of her medication, so he doubled her dose "to confirm it".

clairesmum said...

too bad there isn't a blood test to check the level of 'common sense'....tho i do wonder if some of your more interesting patients wake up dr cortex when it is his turn to take call!

Anonymous said...

"Do you... not know how to read the warning labels on your meds? Or how to ask a pharmacist?"

More and more I know exactly why I never went into medicine (although neurology would have been my pick if I had.)

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