It's 5:15 a.m. The first group of docs is drifting in for the day. I grabbed a Diet Coke and got in the hospital elevator. The doors were closing when one of the hospitalists, trying not to spill his coffee, called for me to hold it. So I hit the "open" button.
Dr. Med: "Morning, Ibee. Thanks for getting that."
Dr. Grumpy: "No problem, Jack. Where you starting?"
Dr. Med: "Ummm, I guess 8 would be best. Can you push that? Thanks."
Dr. Grumpy: "Sure. Hey, are you going to send Mrs. Stroke home today? Her dopplers looked fine."
Dr. Med: "Yeah. She's on Plavix, and I'll have her follow-up with you in 2-3 weeks."
Dr. Grumpy: "Sounds good."
Dr. Med: "Recently I've been getting headaches, but only when I'm masturbating. Should I be concerned about that?"
Next time I'm not going to hold the door.