Thursday, November 20, 2014

Crystal ball

Mary: "Dr. Grumpy's office, this is Mary."

Ms. Seance: "I need to get an appointment right away! I have a brain tumor!"

Mary: "Okay, we have an opening Thursday, at..."

Ms. Seance: "It's an emergency! I have a brain tumor!"

Mary: "Where did you have your MRI? I can try to get that report for the doctor."

Ms. Seance: "I haven't had any tests. Look, this is serious! I have a brain tumor!"

Mary: "Huh? You haven't had any tests? Then how do you know...?"

Ms. Seance: "My medium told me!"

Mary: "A medium told you..."

Ms. Seance: "Yes! And she's never wrong! The spirits told her that I have a brain tumor!"

Mary: "Okay. Well, we can see you Thursday, at 2:30. What insurance do you have?"

Ms. Seance: "CrappyCare, Inc."

Mary: "I'm sorry, we're not contracted with CrappyCare."

Ms. Seance: "But my medium said you are!"

Mary: "We've never been with CrappyCare. Let me give you some phone numbers..."

Ms. Seance: "This is my medium! She's never wrong! You must be!"

22 comments:

Megha Agrawal said...

diagnosis: schizophrenia maybe? lol

Anonymous said...

I don't know Dr Grumpy maybe straight to a neurosurgeon. Do you know any that you don't like too well.

MK said...

How come all your posts are always posted at the same time?

Anonymous said...

Ah, well tell your medium to make an appointment- her auroas are obviously misaligned.

Anonymous said...

With the medium's help, the neurosurgeon should be able to skip the MRI and take her right to the OR for resection.

Anonymous said...

Now be honest... Which is worse, getting ur diagnosis from a medium... Or from Wikipedia?

BendySadness said...

Well, it's hard to argue that she needs a neurologist.

bobbie said...

Another bullet dodged...

The Condign Gentleman said...

She should see if her insurance plan covers a different medium.

Anonymous said...

"Specifically, what she told me was that soon she'd be talking to me for free."

Packer said...

So, no lie, I am out on Saturday last past with a friend, who says his wife goes to a medium , couple of years back 1st time she walks in and medium tells her to get to a Dr. for check of lymphatic system. She goes to DR. and turns out lymphoma, treatment is successful, now she swears by medium. Unbeknownst his wife takes a picture of him to medium, who says tell him to get to the doctor for blood pressure. His wife nags him, he goes and winds up on BP medication. I tell this story to my wife and she says when are we going to the medium, ger her name.

Anonymous said...

Maybe if the spirits knew more about medical matters, they wouldn't be spirits?

Anonymous said...

He writes them in advance. And schedules them to post every day at the same time.

Anonymous said...

I want more info on how the medium specifically told her to see YOU. Are you one of the medium's other clients? ��

Anonymous said...

So THAT'S what they mean by "death panels."

Bullwinkle J. Moose said...

Eenie meenie, chili beanie, the spirits are about to speak!

Holly said...

Bullwinkle, you crack me up! I did it in Bullwinkle voice, too!

Anonymous said...

Well, when I need a diagnosis I don't go to a medium or wikipedia. I go straight to Dr. Google.

Anonymous said...

Just recently: "I had epilepsy, but then I went to my church and was healed!" - said the gentleman who came to ER following a seizure.

Mal said...

I don't think she needs a neurologist..maybe a psych referral tho.

BendySadness said...

Packer, if I had a spouse who believed in mediums, plus wasting money on them, my blood pressure would be high too... probably an easy guess for spouses.

Shellye said...

*smh* Wow...

 
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