Dr. Grumpy: "This is Dr. Grumpy."
Officer Peel: "Hi, doctor, this is Officer Peel, of the Grumpyville police. Sorry to wake you."
Dr. Grumpy: "What can I do for you?"
Officer Peel: "Do you know a lady named Dee Mentia?"
Dr. Grumpy: "Yes, she's one of my patients. Actually, she's in Local Hospital at the moment, with pneumonia."
Officer Peel: "Yeah, she keeps calling 911 from her hospital room and says she's being held hostage in your basement."
Dr. Grumpy: "Oh my..." (starts laughing) "Do you need to come search my basement?"
Officer Peel: "Nah, but can you do something to stop her? The 911 operators are busy enough as it is."
Dr. Grumpy: "Will do, sorry."
Office Peel: "Thanks. Have a good night, doc."
16 comments:
Sooo... The police is calling the person suspected by Mrs. Mentia to be her kidnapper and expect him to be able to talk sense in her?
Why not have the nurses take her phone away?
Hehe bad Dr G
That would be the reason to snow a pt! Plus the nurses would love you for it. Good ol medication restraints - helps prevent 911 calls by those whose brains are more marbles than working
Ah, so much fun!
We have patients who do that now due to having a cell phone at bedside.
If you call 911 from a house phone (in rooms, etc.) it routes you to the hospital operator (to keep those pesky demented folks from tormenting the 911 operators).
If they call via cell, we get a visit from the house police, because the local police call them and tell them to get the phone.
Ah, memories! I had one guy do this so much, I finally asked the cops to move his phone (to the nurses' station). He would not let us have it, because we were "trying to kill him". At least, he respected authority.
When they start calling the cops from home, there's your sign.
Alternative ending. Scene at neighbor's house:
"Why is the SWAT team surrounding Grumpy's house again."
"Apparently he has another patient held hostage in the basement."
"Christ, you'd think he'd come up with something else to do with his time."
"Yeah, the heart wants what the heart wants, I guess."
"Great. How was I supposed to know that letting my hostage have a cell phone could backfire like this?"
If the nurses take away her phone, they will have to give back her call button.
We have a doctor's crazy wife who calls here ALL THE TIME when in manic mode. New operators are always sympathetic at first, thinking the old timers are heartless. It doesn't take long before they start hanging up on her, too. And Officer Cynical, totally love the alternative ending!
haldol
How awesome that the local hospital is in your basement!
It must make your commutes extremely pleasant
RehabRn, methinks your patient has cloned himself.
Sorry, Ibee. I gotta laugh, although I'm curious which "vitamin" ultimately solved the problem....
Anon @ 12:23 ~ LOVe this!!
And we all know what that leads to!!!!
:)
Double extra credit for "Officer Peel". Well done, sir!
It used to be that per their protocol, the police had to come up to the unit to check on the patient every time this happened.
The protocol has changed.
When I was a resident on nightfloat, I had an elderly woman with dementia and likely superimposed delirium violently claim that the nurses/hospital staff drove her to the woods, tied her to a tree, and performed watchcraft on her. In the morning, when her son (who seemed like a reasonable guy) came to visit her, he stopped me.
Son: "So my mom was saying some pretty crazy things about what was going on last night, involving tying her up in the woods with witchcraft."
Me: "Yeah, sometimes when patients are in unfamiliar environments and acutely sick, they can experience confusion and changes in mental status, I think the best thing.."
Son: "No, these are some pretty serious accusations she's making. I'm probably going to report this to the police. I hope you're looking into the nurses' behavior and that they're not performing witchcraft on my mohter!"
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