Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Tuesday guest post

Today I'm honored to have a contribution from everyone's favorite man-on-the-beat, Officer Cynical!


Today I tried to stop a woman with a revoked license. We went 10 blocks with my lights and siren going, and she acted like I wasn't there.

She finally pulled into her driveway, and rolled down her window. The alcohol fumes rolling out of the passenger compartment were almost visible. She said she'd taken "some pain pills and a few muscle relaxants and maybe some other stuff" on top of it.

I arrested her and headed downtown. On the way to jail, she said she had to go to the hospital because "the left half of my brain is numb." So, to be safe, I took her to ER.

I told the ER doc what she said, and he responded (with a straight face), "Well, that doesn't sound right". He agreed with me that it was more likely the whole brain - not just the left half - that was numb.

He went out to my squad car in the ambulance port and told her, "When whatever you're on clears, if your brain is still numb you can come back." Then he signed off on the jail clearance and we left.

Outstanding.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thank you, Officer Cynical, for reminding us what you all put up with. I liked your blog.

Anonymous said...

Dumb dumb

numb numb

Not a coincidence that those two rhyme.

Karen Whiddon said...

I miss your blog, Officer Cynical.

Thanks for posting today!

Packer said...

My life is so predictable, get up, walk dog, shower, go to work, come home eat dinner, go to sleep....I think tomorrow I will load up on pain pills and boozed just because.

I just don't get the thought process that goes on with them.

bunkywise said...

Tequila was involved, I just KNOW it!

bobbie said...

Naw ~ tequila makes her clothes fall off...

Anonymous said...

I drink, I drive, I go to jail, I lose my license.

John Woolman said...

Oh dear. I've seen one or two cases like this where the detained person has woken up in her cell with a totally and utterly numb, cold, dead brain in the morning. And the paper work that generates...... A good slug of methadone on top of her tequila 5 minutes before she met the good officer would do it. and ther's all those new, nasty head shop intoxicants around as well. They mix terribly well with alcohol.

Christine said...

Hooray for Officer Cynical guest post!

Shell said...

You are awesome O.C.Keep up the fight! I wish they paid you what you're worth...

Anonymous said...

Saw a similar moron a few nights ago>

Was in a parking lot at Walmart and saw a cop car, lights flashing, pull up into the lot. He was closely tailing a red car, who was obviously not paying him any attention. She even stopped to let pedestrians through, and then park.

Last I saw, the cop was talking to the woman, and the log turned up that she was driving without a license.

I just like how she ignored a flashing cop car. Did she think that wishing it away would make it disappear?

Anonymous said...

I would have asked for a neuro consult.

 
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