Sunday, April 21, 2013

Sunday reruns

One of my favorite patient quotes:

"I was on my way to my girlfriend's place and did some meth in the car because if I waited till I got there she and her roommate might use it all. But there was something wrong with it and I began shaking, and got real dizzy, and then began puking all over the steering wheel. Then my vision got blurry and I couldn't see the road very well, and I was afraid to pull over cause then a cop might come try to help me, and I'd be in deep shit, so to be safe I started driving as fast as I could to get to the nearest emergency room."

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

The logic seems sound to me.

Anonymous said...

and the ER asked you to consult to help diagnose the tremor, dizziness, and blurry vision?

"Thank you for allowing me to participate in the care of this patient and his interesting problems. No further neurological investigation or intervention is warranted at the present time. Please do not hesitate to call if I can be of further assistance."

Anonymous said...

..." but then the cop atopped me for speeding and then I puked all over the cop and then I was in really deep shit and then...."

Li'l Azathoth said...

"Plus, it occurred to me that there were all kinds of drugs in the hospital and if I didn't get there soon someone else might use them all."

Anonymous said...

"This one time at band camp...."

Jono said...

Who would have thought that a little drug use would affect judgement?

Anonymous said...

Dr. Grumpy! I figured out my problem! I'm sober! Crimony!

peace said...

Priceless! I really hope that decision is part of his transient medical condition.

 
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