"How many cigarettes do you have to smoke before smoking becomes part of your identity and you turn into a 'smoker?' Does the number go up if they're low-tar, or down if they're unfiltered? And, if you look at the cigarette ads, you see that there are so many different kinds of smokers. Like, a Marlboro smoker is totally different from a Kool smoker. So it's a really complicated question."
When I was 23 I went in for strep throat & the Dr asked a lot of general health questions including, "Are you sexually active?" (!) I replied that I was a virgin. His response was, "How do you know?" Umm, because I've been in my body the entire time I've owned it?
He must be smoking some seriously strong stuff... Or can't remember if be is precisely because its such seriously strong stuff... But he still may not be be smoking at all, you know what I'm saying? :P
Next time I'm asked this question I now want to screw around with my doctor about it. Beats the "you should quit" talk since obviously I know that. Then again, after reading your blog I now understand why doctors have to tell smokers that its bad from them and all because as obvious as that would seem, there are people out there, your patients here who probably have no idea.
PS- haaate the world verification! I'm probably younger than vast majority of your readers and its even hard on my eyes!
This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate.
Singing Foo!
Have Dr. Grumpy delivered automatically to your Kindle for only 99 cents a month! Sign up here!
Dr. Grumpy is for hire! Need an article written (humorous, medical, or otherwise) or want to commission a genuine Grumpy piece for your newspaper/magazine/toilet paper roll? Contact me to discuss subjects. You can reach me at the email address below.
Twitter fans- you can follow me @docgrumpy
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA Mary: My Awesome Secretary Ed: The office fish Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with Mrs. Grumpy:My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse) Frank, Craig, and Marie:The Grumpy Tribe Mello, Garlic, and Onion: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
15 comments:
So, that means he's a drinker who drinks a lot and has no memory of what he does, so maybe he is a smoker when he drinks and doesn't know it?
What he really means is that he never caught himself smoking.
Makes you wonder what he's smoking.
Maybe he's just afraid to look?
Screamers are like that, you know.
stay safe.
The joys of Ambien.
NOW I know you're making things up. This just isn't possible. . .unless you're a seriously intimidating doctor...now that's possible.
Maybe he thought you were asking the old question, "Do you smoke after sex?"
And trying to give the traditional answer, "I don't know, I never looked."
Maybe he's not sure whether he smoked in any of his past lives?
Maybe he thinks a Bong might not count.
Dr Grumpy, you need to take on a psychiatrist as your partner. You would keep them all SO busy.
I must share this VR/dragonism with you.
Voice recognition: He exhibits he masturbates. Should be: He exhibits masked face.
"How many cigarettes do you have to smoke before smoking becomes part of your identity and you turn into a 'smoker?' Does the number go up if they're low-tar, or down if they're unfiltered? And, if you look at the cigarette ads, you see that there are so many different kinds of smokers. Like, a Marlboro smoker is totally different from a Kool smoker. So it's a really complicated question."
When I was 23 I went in for strep throat & the Dr asked a lot of general health questions including, "Are you sexually active?" (!) I replied that I was a virgin. His response was, "How do you know?" Umm, because I've been in my body the entire time I've owned it?
Smokin' like smokin' hot, or smokin' like smokin' pot, smokin' like salmon or beef, or smokin' like hot to trot?
He must be smoking some seriously strong stuff... Or can't remember if be is precisely because its such seriously strong stuff... But he still may not be be smoking at all, you know what I'm saying? :P
Next time I'm asked this question I now want to screw around with my doctor about it. Beats the "you should quit" talk since obviously I know that. Then again, after reading your blog I now understand why doctors have to tell smokers that its bad from them and all because as obvious as that would seem, there are people out there, your patients here who probably have no idea.
PS- haaate the world verification! I'm probably younger than vast majority of your readers and its even hard on my eyes!
Post a Comment