Thursday, November 8, 2012

Mary's desk

Mary: "Dr. Grumpy's office, this is Mary."

Mr. Newpatient: "Yeah, my hand surgeon wants me to schedule an EMG with Dr. Grumpy."

Mary: "I can help you with that. Are you on any blood thinners?"

Mr. Newpatient: "I don't know. Am I?"

Mary: "Sir, you've never been here, so we have no information about you."

Mr. Newpatient: "Well, can you guys look at my medicines and tell me if any are blood thinners?"

Mary: "Sure, I can have the doctor review them... What are you taking?"

Mr. Newpatient: "I have no idea. Can you call my pharmacy for the list?"

Mary: "Um... What pharmacy do you go to?"

Mr. Newpatient: "I don't know. My wife always deals with that stuff."

Mary: "Is she there?"

Mr. Newpatient: "No. Can you call back later?"

27 comments:

Anonymous said...

Lord have mercy. What a poophead!And that doofus got to vote, too.

Moose said...

If you can't be bothered to have at least a basic knowledge of your own health care you shouldn't be allowed to have any.

Health, that is. KILL THE INFIDELS.

Or, something.

Anonymous said...

"Hi! I'm too stupid to live! Can you help me with that?"

Anonymous said...

Mary: "Sure, I will call back later, When will your wife be back?"

Mr. Newpatient: "I don't know. Can you call my mother-in-law to find out when my wife will be back?"

Mary: "Sure, what's your mother-in-law's number?"

Mr. Newpatient: "I don't know. Her name is Jenny, Dr. Grumpy probably knows her number."

Packer said...

Strangest case of carpal tunnel syndrome seen in modern times.

bobbie said...

St. Mary ~

skidmark said...

Since when are hand doctors treating the mentally defficient? OK, that was worded badly. Let's try it again-
Since when are hand doctors sending their mentally defficient patients to a neurologist as opposed to the psychiatry/ psychology guild?

And if my guess about Dr. Hand is right, he'll be wanting a consult with Dr. Grumpy - something about that twitch every time this patient shows up.

stay safe.

Anonymous said...

Another example of somewho voted on Tuesday. No clue about life or anything going on in it. You would wonder how they make it day to day, yet there are people like this all over the place. Or, perhaps it's people like me that are just way over achievers? Who knows?

brent said...

Could it be that everyone is being a bit harsh here and jumping to a conclusion for which we don't have all the info? What if the person had a TBI, stroke, or dementia? he sounds like someone I know who had an "anoxic event" and now can't remember how to do anything.

Anonymous said...

Another low-information human being.

Just Me said...

3 words...
List in Wallet

I know that there could be more to this story, but having met "these patients" there likely isn't. :) Have to love them or kill them and you really can't kill them.

Stacey Gordon said...

I had several patients like that in Huntsville, Al. All retired rocket scientists, literally. Many worked with Von Braun himself... Couldn't remember what meds they were on, or even which side their kidney stones were one. Had to check with their wife on everything...

Anonymous said...

To be more fair, one must ask two more questions before confirming intellectual level. 1. Was this man yawning at any time during this interaction? 2. Was the phone number call-back number associated with a public phone such as a bus station?

Not that I've personally tried this ;) but, this is the sort of interchange I might make with someone whom I have absolutely no no knowledge of the profession, such as car repair shop, of which my husband left me a cryptic note which I just found in my purse (and was told I should call before they close for the holiday weekend) after a longggg 14 hour shift including personal transportation time and worked four time zones away, and have woken from a sound sleep to the sound of fire engines which have quickly assessed don't involve me but there is no light such as might occur in a Newark, NJ motel 15 min. from the airport hoping the flight wont' be cancelled.

Please, forgive me that the cryptic note only says 'EMG', 'Dr. Grumpy', 'hand surgery', a phone number, and my name.

Anonymous said...

And this is why I don't treat adults!

a.generic doc said...

How the heck did this guy manage to figure out to even phone the office to talk to Mary?

Anonymous said...

Another Obana voter.

Ms. Donna said...

My Dad, a pretty smart man was like that. Mom is/was an old-school RN, so he'd hand all his meds to her, and she would dole them out.

Then I came along, not an MD or RN but pretty savvy with med-speak and powered with MY copy of Tabers, the Merck Manual and the PDR.

Dad had cancer and COPD, so there were lots of meds. I started checking for interactions (pre-Google) and Lo and behold, there was a couple of potential baddies in the mix, Rx'd by two different MDs. The stuff came from two separate pharmacies as well.

I pointed out the problem to Mom, who rounded on me and wanted to know if I was a doctor. (Funny, the only MDs she did not revere (came from the days when a nurse STOOD when a doctor walked in the room) were interns.)

No, but I can read, and this might be something to bring to MD1 or MD2's attention, I told her.

"And what makes you so smart," she wanted to know.

Fortunately, Dad came into the room when Mom was giving me the business. He asked, and I showed him what I had found. As he was seeing MD2 the next day, he said he'd bring it up.

Mom sat in on the exams and nearly passed out when Dad brought the med up.

Dad told me Mom's face went through the floor when MD2 looked at the med, and called MD1, and then gave Dad a new Rx for something else, telling him to throw the original med in question away.

Sorry, Docs, Google makes this so much easier now!

Alyssa said...

Mary's super awesome as always. Dr Grumpy, how's Nurse K? I miss her blogs. Now with Officer Cynical gone I'd hate to lose her too. You three were my top favorite blogs to read.

ronstew said...

Mr Newpatient sounds enough like me that I would be unwise to comment here.

MSGMD said...

Bottom Line: Needs a cognitive assessment before he can consent to his test....

Crazy RxMan said...

Maybe his wife should pin a note to his shirt with his med list and other pertinent information, especially his address in case he gets lost.

cliffintokyo said...

Momma's Baby = Unprepared for Life.
This guy needs some tough love, as in hands-off and tie your own laces...either that or what Moose suggested.

Mal said...

Well, to be fair, most drugs have nonsensical names that don't mean much to the lay person. It makes them hard to remember. I have to take a written list with me to the doctors.

It does sound like he's completely opted out of his healthcare though.

Anonymous said...

Time for the POA?

Don! said...

Stacey Gordon, I believe it! Rocket scientist/engineer types can be amazingly bad with simple day-to-day things, even when they're younger. I don't imagine the ability to keep track of those little things increases any with age.

itt said...

I double St Mary and would add, although Im afraid that wouldnt make much sense because it is direct translation from Russian, Diamond Mary ;)

Suzanne said...

Drug names are hard to remember. I made lists of my parents meds, and we keep copies with us for appointments, as well as on my iPhone. The ER doctors couldn't believe it when I had the list on hand.

 
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