Thursday, November 29, 2012

Call out the instigator, because...

Guy walks in, stands at front counter.

Guy: "I have an appointment with Dr. Grumpy."

Mary: "Hello. Since you're a new patient, I'll need you to fill out this form... Here's a pen..."

Guy: "Oh my God! Can you smell the mold in here?!!!"

Mary: "Excuse me?"

Guy: "It's horrible! It's overpowering! How can you can work in here?" (whips out handkerchief, covers nose and mouth)

Mary: "I'm sorry, I don't notice anything... I'll also need a copy of your insurance card."

Guy: (talking through handkerchief) "You must be used to it. I'm amazed you haven't died. I don't want to fill out the forms, I'm sure the pen and clipboard are covered with mold. In fact, I can see it. Can you fill them out for me? You may be immune to it."

Mary: "Okay... but I'll need a minute. First I have to copy your card, and answer that call, and check out the person the doctor just finished with, and..."

Guy: "You want to do all that crap?  I could die at any minute from all the mold in your filthy building! I bet it's never even been tested. I can't sit in here and wait to see your doctor! This building is a death trap."

Walks out.

30 comments:

Mal said...

Are you sure you're not a psychiatrist? Whoever refers your patients clearly thinks you are.

Anonymous said...

You are a lucky man on multiple accounts

Anonymous said...

Did he he own a mold removal company ? Maybe he was trying to drum up some work.

Anonymous said...

I thought this was going to be a story about a guy who cannot read/ write using a creative excuse to get Mary to do it :)

BoomStarzMD said...

he clearly should have stayed for your check up

C said...

Because your day isn't already confusing enough? Awesome!

Nurse Lilly said...

I loved that song in The Lion King, "Can You Smell the Mold Tonight?"

Old MD Girl said...

Sounds kind of like my husband...

Anonymous said...

I blame the HGTV show Holmes Inspection for this nonsense. Every time they found mold they reacted like they found Plutonium in the walls.

PediNP said...

I think you got pretty lucky this one left! Whew!

3Sweeties said...

I have to say . . . I kind of love it when crazy people decide not to do business with my pharmacy. We have one loony we've been trying to shake off for a couple of years without luck. She steals from the store, for one thing, and is just generally a horrible person.

Packer said...

Things that make me laugh my butt off. #1 People freaking out about mold. #2 People freaking out when I tell them that mold is freaking everywhere. #3 Stories and comments about mold freakers----WELL DONE this AM, see you all tomorrow---still LMAO

Anonymous said...

To Anon @ 9:16 AM re: Holmes Inspection

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA so true! Thanks for the crack about Plutonium.

To Packer: I teach high school sex ed and you should see how the kids freak out when I tell them they have bacteria and germs in the female reproductive tract as a part of the normal microbiota. For some, it is instant birth control!

Jono said...

Anon 10:12, everyone knows girls have cooties. I think I knew that by the third grade!

Hildy said...

This is for you Packer: My cousin has purchased three different homes in 6 years, never lived in any of them, because she became convinced each had the DREADED MOLD (which apparently was undetectable prior to purchase). On the plus side, she's making some real estate agents very rich.

The Bus Driver said...

Circle circle dot dot... now you got your cootie shot.. haha

and seriously what a nutjob... you may want to start keeping business cards for a psychologist on hand.

Ms. Donna said...

Well, do you have mold? Joking aside, it can be serious for some. And some over react.

Anonymous said...

The next patient will claim to smell the fumes from the meth lab you keep in the break room.

Anonymous said...

People who have been exposed to toxic mold are more sensitive. Laughing aside, he may be onto something. Good friend of mine could smell something wrong in her kitchen only when she was pregnant. 3 years later with a diswasher leak, discovered toxic black mold behind the drywall. Had to move the whole family out while it was dealt with. Not all mold is bad, but it can be.

Anonymous said...

This week end, bring in the family pets, to do a sniff test for mold. And next time, you get another such patient, tell him or her that you have tested for mold.

How is the mold affecting Ed, the Office Fish?

Kim Kasch said...

I cannot relate. I live in Portland, Oregon where mold is like a beauty pageant runner up. It's the (alternate) State Flower. With all that liquid sunshine we have, I wouldn't smell mold if it was growing on me...wait, it might be.

I'm just sayin'

Stacey Gordon said...

You had Monk, as a patient?

Anonymous said...

Oh, no. Not penicillin !!! Too much mold.

Vicki said...

This reminds me of the excuse my brother used to offer during high school and college to justify his refusal to eat any vegetables.

"What is the color of mild? Green. What is the color of most vegetables? Green. Therefore, eating vegetables is like eating mold."

When I told this to one of the students I oversaw at the writing center at Harvey Mudd College, which is comparable to Caltech or MIT, but without any grad programs, he responded that he could make mold of any color and offered to create a pizza-colored mold just for my brother!

MarcW said...

>99% he's just a nutjob.

However, as was pointed out, people who have been around mold can be hypersensitized to it.

Also, people who are suffering from certain neurological disorders (As the average Yak herder well knows!) sometimes experience phantom smells. If Dr. Grumpy was a nephrologist, I probably wouldn't even have thought of it, but if the guy was coming in to talk about weird headaches or something else, AND he was experiencing phantom smells, I don't know if I'd be laughing or strapping him into an MRI.

Lynda said...

The mold freak I know has black shit growing around their bathtub.

Anonymous said...

The mold comes from handkerchiefs. It has been traced to a moldy nose from Cambodia but it is not too serious in a green room where the mold is suspended in a state of animation.

erjedi.com said...

Can I get some of this smell for our ED?

lbparker said...

If "Candid Camera" was still broadcasting, I would suspect you were set up. Did the guy have a mini-cam on him anywhere?

Mary may find she's gone viral on you-tube!

Anonymous said...

I disagree about the comment regarding Holmes TV show. They are just cautious. Something everyone should do when mold is discovered. Some molds are nominal but some can cause serious health risks. It is better to assume the mold is dangerous until proven otherwise. If I found mold in my house I would assume it is dangerous until a professional tests it and tells me otherwise. An ounce of prevention...

Otherwise, there are very few contractors out there that are as detail oriented as Mike Holmes.

 
Locations of visitors to this page