Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Today's contest

Okay, folks, since Dr. Killpatient gave me the idea...

A catalog pushing Halloween-themed nursing scrubs was lying around the hospital yesterday, with this picture on the cover:




So let's see what captions you guys can come up with. I'll toss out a few:


"Dr. Grumpy is sending a patient to the ER!"

"Dr. No Bullshit is on vacation again!"

"Shipping charges on Halloween scrubs are how much?!!!"

56 comments:

Brittles15 said...

You scared the shit out of us, call the CNA.

C said...

The ER is out of Haldol?

Kristin said...

"You're not giving out candy for Halloween?"

Moss World said...

"What, Craig cut his hair!?!?"

Officer Cynical said...

"No, I said show me the PEANUTS you got for Halloween!"

Queen Silly Britches said...

*Fangirls begin screaming*
"OMG! You mean Dr. Grumpy is ACTUALLY COMING HERE? TODAY!? Someone get a case of Diet Coke! Stat!".
*Fangirls scream wildly again and faint all over the floor*

Anonymous said...

I work in a medical ICU. Nothing gets that look from us anymore except a set of really big balls.

Mike said...

Blondie on right: "My wedding ring fell in the patient's full bedpan!"

Others: "EWWWWWW!"

Dr. Minerva said...

"Scabies outbreak on 4 south!"

Anonymous said...

"Code Brown! I repeat - Code Brown!"

aek said...

"These are the new permanent uniforms for the hospitalists!"

Nurse Lilly said...

"We're now required to learn Hindi, Farsi, AND Urdu just so we can talk to the new hospitalists?"

Anonymous said...

Ambulance Driver *AND* Dr. Grumpy *AND* Happy Hospitalist in drag???

Packer said...

What do you mean I have to work Thanksgioving.

Anonymous said...

"We just announced the Hospital is out of Diluadid and all the patients in the waiting room just got up and left!"

Sandra said...

Anon 9:43 - That would actually result in a round of cheering.

ERP said...

"How in God's name will a Foley fit in that! They don't make them big enough!"

Titan Mk6B said...

They really believed me when I said "Liar, liar tits on fire".

Or

Sandra Fluke just made an appointment.

bobbie said...

SO agree with Anon @ 8:31 ~ that's definitely a Code Brown look!!

Also ~ "CNA dues are going up by HOW much?!?!"

ER's Mom said...

The vibrator was found WHERE?!?!?!?!?

Anonymous said...

"FRANK ATE ALL THE BROWNIES???!!!"

Leigh said...

"OMG Dr. Grumpy! Your bag REALLY IS hanging funny!"

Ivan Ilyich said...

OMG, Ivan Ilyich has relapsed and he's coming back!!!

Anonymous said...

"Tell Mr. Holmes that the girls need a few more minutes of stretching exercises before we shoot the scene."

Anonymous said...

"Everybody flips when they hear about the new McArtisanal Burger!!!"

Ardosa said...

Dr. NoDilala is off for two weeks?!

Anonymous said...

"Is this room ACTUALLY STRETCHING???"

Anonymous said...

"Lady Grantham caught Matthew and Thomas doing WHAT???"

Anonymous said...

"You mean Bruce Willis was dead the whole time?"

Captain Foulenough said...

"Aaiiiieee!! Bambi's been spray-tanning too much. The chemicals are messing up her skeleton! Look! Her left arm's been switched with her right! And how's she gonna give injections with that wrist contracture?! Gaaah!"

CrownedwithVictory said...

We are getting Nursing Fundamentals students for clinical instead of the senior class?!?

gin4407 said...

My first thought was Leigh's caption!

Moose said...

I love how it's only women wearing these things and shrieking. Hi, my name is stupid stereotype, and I'll be peeing on your parade today.

Captain CrankyPants, from the Good Ship "Otitis Media Sucks Ass"

Li'l Azathoth said...

"And remember, the first contestant to catch five frisbees in her mouth moves on to the bonus round!"

08armydoc said...

"You want me to put that catheter WHERE?"

"Have you ever seen anything so small on an adult male?

"I didn't think one person could puke up that much blood?!"

"Why is it that color?"

Anonymous said...

"You mean to stay that the Vogue photo shoot is in a different studio and this one is for a medical supply catalog???"

lbparker said...

Officer Cynical wins the thread. Though there are so many cackle-worthy comments here that it was hard to choose. . .

BeadHappy said...

They only come in size 2?

icurn said...

No way, we're fully staffed in ICU on a Saturday!!!! I don't believe it!!

Anonymous said...

the two to the left of the blonde are reacting to what the blonde is saying.

and the blonde is saying "i just did my first-ever shift in neurology. did you know that most neurologists' reflex hammers are THIS long?"

Anonymous said...

Mrs. Frquentflyer is being admitted AGAIN?! She just left 2 days ago.

Anonymous said...

No, we are NOT allowed to cut those toenails....

Anonymous said...

We thought coming into your room in twos or threes would stop you from groping us and making lewd comments. You want an extra pillow where?!

Anonymous said...

We don't care where you read about it; we do NOT provide THAT kind of therapy...

Bob@thenest said...

Doctor Grumpy is making an artisan WHAT???

Anonymous said...

EMR!!!!!

Ms. Donna said...

DR. G said "Artisan" again!

Anonymous said...

There's a water main break, we're not sure when we'll have enough pressure to get water flowing on your floor again... and you get to take care of the C. Diff patient. (true story)

Glen said...

"On No! The HIPAA Police are raiding us!

Anonymous said...

State is here for inspection and all of the above is going on...

Anonymous said...

State is HERE!, State is HERE! during all of the above and a bunch of cases of c-diff & norovirus...

Anonymous said...

Mrs. Pita is here again??? She fired us all last time
and said she wasn't EVER coming back again?!

Anonymous said...

Referencing the story 2 above with the serious WTF "He had what where?!"

LippsService said...

Oh shit, we've run out of drug samples of Happy Pill!

LippsService said...

Woman in the middle is totally doing the Home Alone scream.

MDaisy said...

I'm sorry guys I can't think of anything to comment, except I haven't laughed so hard until finding Dr. Grumpy. LOL!

Oh, I did think of one thing...

Is that a trick or a treat?

Happy Halloween and don't smell my feet!!

 
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